No More New Years Resolutions – Create Lasting Change in 2019



"How colourful is your internal world?  Because the outside is always a reflection"  - Tristan Soames 😉

Well we're here again, the leaves have finally succumbed to the changing of the seasons and we're approaching the New Year, and a time when many people start thinking about goals or intentions for the year ahead.  A time when many of us set new years resolutions.

Somewhat ironically, I resolved to never do that again years ago.  And here's why.  Sadly, though not surprisingly, most new year's resolutions fail within a month or two.  They don't work.  So why is that and why is it apparently so difficult to create really significant and lasting change for most of us?  I mean, the BIG and important stuff!

And why is that so many people set goals and then fail to achieve them?  And perhaps more importantly, why and how, do some people manage to create lasting change without much effort?

In many ways these are the questions which define success or failure - and certainly questions which have defined my life journey.

Out of pain, suffering and depression I've had to answer these questions.  How do I change?  How can I become happy?  How do I create freedom?  Because frankly, the alternatives were too unbearable!

But negative emotions and experiences can be a powerful motivating force.  As is so often the case, our learning and transformation comes out of our pain and suffering.  For me, NLP has been one of the most profound methods that I've come across for creating deep and lasting change.

So what is NLP, how does it work and what can you expect by delving into the world of NLP?

NLP is the study of the structure of subjective experience.  Put simply, it's a way of studying our lived experience in ways that enable learning and change.

As Mosche Feldenkrais said "when you know how you're doing what you're doing, you can do what you want".  NLP is the study of how we do what we do... so we can do more of what we want.  And, do it with excellence!

In all likelihood, you won't really understand what NLP is by reading a blog or a book.  You might get a flavour but to get the fullness of the experience and power of it, you'll need to eat more than just a bite of the cake.

Because NLP is the study of our experience - and there is a lot of that to study and learn from! - you'll more than likely need to have an immerse experience of it (and therefore yourself) in order to really understand the power and depth of it.  Ultimately, that power and depth is a reflection of the power and depth in, and of you.  And while you may not believe it, that is pretty much limitless.

A bit like looking at the surface of a lake, the reflection can be beautiful and intriguing, but there is so much more beneath the surface!  That is the joy of this journey... it's not really about NLP, it's about you moving beyond your limitations and beliefs structures (BS!) and unleashing your greatness.

NLP has been described as modelling excellence.  Put another way it's studying and replicating (modelling) the strategies that successful people use (excellence) in order to accomplish the results they want.  And we have strategies for everything!

Think about how you got up this morning, how you got dressed or brushed your teeth.  How did you do these things?  I'm guessing you did these things without thinking too much because you have unconscious and successful strategies for accomplishing these things.

Now imagine being able to achieve anything you want to - like learning to write or coach or lead or love.  Or being able to travel, generate unlimited wealth freedom and choice.  Why?  Because someone has the strategy for all of these things.... and you can learn them.  Imagine that!

So whether it's learning to communicate effectively, lose weight, get fit, run a successful business, increase your income, change job, improve your relationships, become happy or free - there are strategies for ALL of these things.

This is what I've dedicated my life to.  From great pain and loss I somehow ended up on this profound path of enlightenment and liberation - learning how to do all of these things - and much more.

So NLP is the study of how we do what we do so we can do what we want, with excellence!  As you immerses yourself in this remarkable process, you can expect to discover 'the difference that makes a difference' in whatever you want to change in your life - be that creating more happiness, more freedom, income, joy, or anything else for that matter.  It's all about you and what you want.  It's not about NLP!

It's a journey of self discovery and a profound journey inwards - into the inner workings of our mind, emotions, thinking and energetic experience of life - in ways that open up possibilities to us and for us... and all of those around us.  There lie many levels of consciousness beyond your current paradigm.  The question then is, are you ready to explore and embrace the fullness of who you are and can be by expanding your consciousness?

This is always an exciting time of year for me.  I spend winters in Goa which is such a beautiful, rich, vibrant and natural environment.  The food, the sea, that beaches, the eagles, cows and cockerels and more - they all provide a deeply rich moment by moment experience of being fully alive. A real contrast to being in Europe in the depths of winter!

As well as being a time of rejuvenation it's also an important time for me to commit to transforming peoples lives on my retreat.  And this is (transforming others lives) amongst all the amazing tools and strategies and processes and techniques that NLP offers - is perhaps the most profound shift we can ever have.  That is, when we find ourselves by losing ourselves in the service of others.  When we find our place in the world.  When we find a way to express our talents, passion and gifts in the service of others.

For me, I come into my own and step up and run a retreat in such a beautiful location.  What we do on these retreats is give people many different tools, resources and experiences of modelling the difference that makes a difference - profound learning experiences - and the culmination of all of that is that they step fully into their place in the world.  They acknowledge and embrace their gifts and know how they can begin making a real difference in the world.  And of course when we help others get what they want, we get what we want, in spades!

So if this sounds like something you're curious to know more about or experience for yourself, then do reach out.  I'd love for you to join us somewhere in the world (I run regular retreats in Ibiza, South Africa and also have one in the UK next summer!) but why not join us in Goa this January?

As Sean said - it's the best way to start the New Year!  And you can create some profound and lasting change in your life rather than settling for resolutions that simply don't work.

Love, Tristan

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