What is NLP?

What is NLP?

NLP is a way to a profound life

I sometimes liken our mind to a super-computer.  However, we didn’t come with a user manual.

Many of us have been ‘programmed’ ineffectively by our families, schools or cultures. You could say that we have ‘out of date software’.  The amazing thing is that we can unravel these old habits or ‘programmes’ that no longer serve us; we can update our software so it operates in a way we want.

Richard Bandler, one of the co-founders of NLP once put forward this definition.  It is “an attitude and a methodology leading to a trail of techniques. The issue is not the techniques, but about developing the attitude and the skills for modelling. Only then do you suddenly find yourself developing your own techniques”.

In my own experience, I’ve seen many NLP Trainers put the cart before the horse. They teach NLP techniques.  But NLP is not just a set of tools or techniques.

Bandler said that “the attitude is about curiosity and wanton experimentation. The methodology is about modelling; extracting the thoughts and behaviours that create success. Having the first two leads to a trail of techniques that ultimately help you to succeed in whatever endeavour you are looking at”.

What course attendees say:

  • “A way to transform your life with magic!”
  • “Making sense of life and living it to the fullest”!
  • “Learning the structure of knowledge and magic”
  • “Learning the art of deep and transformational listening”
  • “Discovering and living out our full potential”
  • “A mirror – it helps me to me see myself and my behaviours objectively”

And some of the amazing people I’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years talking about what NLP is to them…  

  • “A mode of healing”
  • “The study of how humans work”
  • “A way to look differently at things and so improve myself and my life”
  • “A set of tools and techniques for manifesting that which we desire and letting go of that which we don’t”
  • “The development of self-awareness to find inner peace and to learn effective inter-personal communication”
  • “A way of connecting with our inner knowledge and changing/reprogramming our subconscious, so that we can get the results we want for ourselves… and others”

Describing NLP...

NLP is a very personal journey.  It is different for everyone.  For me, NLP is a framework for modelling excellence and learning how to learn, quickly.

I think you have to experience NLP to really understand it.  I could explain the process and theory of swimming, however until you get in the water, you’ll never really ‘get it’!

That said, for me NLP….

  • gives us a framework to unravel those patterns that no longer support us in being all that we can be.
  • provides a pathway for personal, professional and even spiritual development unlike anything else.
  • enables us to make sense of our world and create a meaningful and fulfilling life.

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What NLP has given me...

NLP has given me the capacity to understand the difference between my subjective truth and truth. More often than not my subjective truth was informed by limiting beliefs, set up from my childhood.  From my very first Practitioner course, through to my Master Training and beyond, what I have consistently done is to challenge and unravel all those very unconscious beliefs that were set-up as a child and held me back as an adult.

It’s a little bit like untangling a knot or a ball of string; it’s very difficult to do in one go or instantaneously, but over time, if you pick a little bit here and a little bit there, it actually becomes quite an easy process and almost enjoyable. That has been my NLP journey.

While I’ve had revelations, amazing breakthroughs and I’ve come away from courses with a profoundly different sense of what is possible and how I can make changes in my life – actually over time, most of the changes have happened at an unconscious level. A little bit like that knot being untied, just a little bit here and there and suddenly now my life is so radically different.

During my Coaching, NLP Training and Retreats you will explore many of the tools and techniques of NLP, but you will also learn how to:

  • Develop the flexibility and resilience to respond resourcefully in your work and personal life
  • Welcome on-going change and learning through giving and receiving feedback
  • Coach yourself and others to fulfil their true potential
  • Build business and personal relationships that are enriching and successful Influence by example, according to your own values
  • Enhance rapport with yourself and others
  • Face challenges while remaining flexible, resourceful and congruent Identify and celebrate your own and others’ unique skills and talents
  • Discover and explore the essence of excellence in yourself and others, in ways that support your and their true potential

If you choose to join me on your NLP journey, you will come away from the experience, having accelerated your ability to create a profound life in a way that is full of learning, integrity, freedom and choice.  You will discover the essence of excellence in yourself and perhaps more importantly, be able to do that for others too.

Designed to soar but programmed to plateau

Designed to soar but programmed to plateau

Most of us have achieved a level of success.  Being human, we all want more.  And yet there are clearly barriers to us achieving the things we want in our lives. These are often the unconscious beliefs which inform our behaviour. We get stuck or struggle to make changes because we have old patterns ‘running the show’. As one participant of mine said on a retreat last year, it’s like my thinking is going from Windows 95 to a NASA computer.  This kind of change is available to us all. Indeed many of us need this kind of transformation in our thinking if we want to create the kind of change we dream of in our lives; to make our lives all they can be.  We need to update the operating software or programmes running the show. How do we do that?  It’s simple conceptually, but sometimes not so easy in reality when we have so many outdated programmes conflicting with one another and with such well-worn brain circuitry holding us back.  Our system needs a re-boot! There are a plethora of change strategies that can work for us in this respect.  But we will need to unravel the deepest level patterns in order to really soar.  In a conversation I had just last night with a friend, we discovered that we both had a belief lurking beneath the surface of our experience - which was that we were somehow lacking something.  Ultimately this translated as "I am lacking".  That belief is a big barrier to success! Sticking with the same strategies and unconscious beliefs which have worked for us or defined our experience in the past, will rarely take us towards greatness. And if we do stick with them, we struggle or plateau; we settle for less than we could be.  Getting to the core pattern or belief allows us to operate from a different pattern, level of consciousness and energy. What are some of the ways you re-boot your system, or update your mental operating software? How and when are you committed to doing that next?
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Are you changing exponentially?

Are you changing exponentially?

Post retreat is always an interesting time for me.  I guess for everyone actually.  My work is increasingly about getting to the core.  The core pattern, belief, structure, limitation or intention.  It's about change.  Paradoxically, one consistent in my life and work, is change.  Trying to capture or articulate that paradox can be challenging.  And yet there is great value doing so for myself and others. Right now, I'm aware of various challenges, especially those faced by my loved ones and colleagues.  They are very real.  And yet what is also real is our capacity (and need) to transform how we think about the challenges we face. Consciousness is an Evolving Science Consciousness is an evolving science, if it can in fact be called a science.  The way into understanding and transforming consciousness for me, is through language.  What we see and hear in our mind is what we think about.  What we think about is what we feel.  What we feel influences our behaviour and that in turn leads to patterns and ultimately, our destiny.  Our language plays A BIG part in how our thinking, consciousness and experience of life is structured and can therefore be changed. The week we spent together here in Ibiza was in many ways beyond words.  The love and joy, the laughter and food, the learning and revelation for us all, as we dove deeper into how we structure our thought and thus emotions through language was, for want of a better word, profound! A Profound State of Being I believe that what we all seek is a profound state of being alive.  One infused with love and possibility; with gratitude and excitement.  A fully lived and loved moment by moment experience of living in this eternal present moment, which at an embodied level allows us to know in our heart that there is a better, indeed a much better future for us to step into.  In each moment. I'm starting a new chapter in my life which is all of these things and more.  I've just started a new coaching programme where I'm sharing my journey with like-minded souls around the world and stepping into a new vision - of the impact and presence I want to have in the world.  I'm about to launch a new website.  I've just uploaded a Podcast to it and this blog is another addition to this new energy and inspiring chapter in my life and business. Core Truth Transforms So what has NLP or this blog got to do with anything, or you, if you're reading this?  Honestly, I don't know.  But I know that when we get to the core of our present state - the limitation, thought, pattern, belief or subjective truth that holds us back from being all we can be; when we honour where we are (and share that with others authentically) we release a great deal of energy which can now be directed into what's important to us and for us. At the core, we are all energy.  Everything is energy. What has to be true for us to release the blockers and limitations and step into a new vibration?  A new future?  A new paradigm as a species? In short, a truth that transforms.  And the profound truth - is that truth transforms. I believe that's where we are headed.  The rate of change, knowledge and opportunity for each of us individually, and collectively is accelerating exponentially because truth transforms. Are you changing exponentially?  Are you engaging in your deepest truth?  If not, why not? And if you're not and you want to, feel free to get in touch so you can learn more about how to create exponential change, for yourself and others. Love, Tristan
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No More New Years Resolutions - Create Lasting Change in 2019

No More New Years Resolutions - Create Lasting Change in 2019

"How colourful is your internal world?  Because the outside is always a reflection"  - Tristan Soames 😉 Well we're here again, the leaves have finally succumbed to the changing of the seasons and we're approaching the New Year, and a time when many people start thinking about goals or intentions for the year ahead.  A time when many of us set new years resolutions. Somewhat ironically, I resolved to never do that again years ago.  And here's why.  Sadly, though not surprisingly, most new year's resolutions fail within a month or two.  They don't work.  So why is that and why is it apparently so difficult to create really significant and lasting change for most of us?  I mean, the BIG and important stuff! And why is that so many people set goals and then fail to achieve them?  And perhaps more importantly, why and how, do some people manage to create lasting change without much effort? In many ways these are the questions which define success or failure - and certainly questions which have defined my life journey. Out of pain, suffering and depression I've had to answer these questions.  How do I change?  How can I become happy?  How do I create freedom?  Because frankly, the alternatives were too unbearable! But negative emotions and experiences can be a powerful motivating force.  As is so often the case, our learning and transformation comes out of our pain and suffering.  For me, NLP has been one of the most profound methods that I've come across for creating deep and lasting change. So what is NLP, how does it work and what can you expect by delving into the world of NLP? NLP is the study of the structure of subjective experience.  Put simply, it's a way of studying our lived experience in ways that enable learning and change. As Mosche Feldenkrais said "when you know how you're doing what you're doing, you can do what you want".  NLP is the study of how we do what we do... so we can do more of what we want.  And, do it with excellence! In all likelihood, you won't really understand what NLP is by reading a blog or a book.  You might get a flavour but to get the fullness of the experience and power of it, you'll need to eat more than just a bite of the cake. Because NLP is the study of our experience - and there is a lot of that to study and learn from! - you'll more than likely need to have an immerse experience of it (and therefore yourself) in order to really understand the power and depth of it.  Ultimately, that power and depth is a reflection of the power and depth in, and of you.  And while you may not believe it, that is pretty much limitless. A bit like looking at the surface of a lake, the reflection can be beautiful and intriguing, but there is so much more beneath the surface!  That is the joy of this journey... it's not really about NLP, it's about you moving beyond your limitations and beliefs structures (BS!) and unleashing your greatness. NLP has been described as modelling excellence.  Put another way it's studying and replicating (modelling) the strategies that successful people use (excellence) in order to accomplish the results they want.  And we have strategies for everything! Think about how you got up this morning, how you got dressed or brushed your teeth.  How did you do these things?  I'm guessing you did these things without thinking too much because you have unconscious and successful strategies for accomplishing these things. Now imagine being able to achieve anything you want to - like learning to write or coach or lead or love.  Or being able to travel, generate unlimited wealth freedom and choice.  Why?  Because someone has the strategy for all of these things.... and you can learn them.  Imagine that! So whether it's learning to communicate effectively, lose weight, get fit, run a successful business, increase your income, change job, improve your relationships, become happy or free - there are strategies for ALL of these things. This is what I've dedicated my life to.  From great pain and loss I somehow ended up on this profound path of enlightenment and liberation - learning how to do all of these things - and much more. So NLP is the study of how we do what we do so we can do what we want, with excellence!  As you immerses yourself in this remarkable process, you can expect to discover 'the difference that makes a difference' in whatever you want to change in your life - be that creating more happiness, more freedom, income, joy, or anything else for that matter.  It's all about you and what you want.  It's not about NLP! It's a journey of self discovery and a profound journey inwards - into the inner workings of our mind, emotions, thinking and energetic experience of life - in ways that open up possibilities to us and for us... and all of those around us.  There lie many levels of consciousness beyond your current paradigm.  The question then is, are you ready to explore and embrace the fullness of who you are and can be by expanding your consciousness? This is always an exciting time of year for me.  I spend winters in Goa which is such a beautiful, rich, vibrant and natural environment.  The food, the sea, that beaches, the eagles, cows and cockerels and more - they all provide a deeply rich moment by moment experience of being fully alive. A real contrast to being in Europe in the depths of winter! As well as being a time of rejuvenation it's also an important time for me to commit to transforming peoples lives on my retreat.  And this is (transforming others lives) amongst all the amazing tools and strategies and processes and techniques that NLP offers - is perhaps the most profound shift we can ever have.  That is, when we find ourselves by losing ourselves in the service of others.  When we find our place in the world.  When we find a way to express our talents, passion and gifts in the service of others. For me, I come into my own and step up and run a retreat in such a beautiful location.  What we do on these retreats is give people many different tools, resources and experiences of modelling the difference that makes a difference - profound learning experiences - and the culmination of all of that is that they step fully into their place in the world.  They acknowledge and embrace their gifts and know how they can begin making a real difference in the world.  And of course when we help others get what they want, we get what we want, in spades! So if this sounds like something you're curious to know more about or experience for yourself, then do reach out.  I'd love for you to join us somewhere in the world (I run regular retreats in Ibiza, South Africa and also have one in the UK next summer!) but why not join us in Goa this January? As Sean said - it's the best way to start the New Year!  And you can create some profound and lasting change in your life rather than settling for resolutions that simply don't work. Love, Tristan Sign Up For More Info
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Touchdown in Africa!

Touchdown in Africa!

Hi there Summer for me in Ibiza has come to an end in the most remarkable of ways - with my own retreat which was outstanding and absolutely the next level for us all - followed almost immediately by a retreat for myself, which was simply put, profound! I believe that deep in our souls we are all seeking the profound; a profound experience of being alive.  And we can have it 🙂 Each time I run a course or coach someone I’m in awe at how quickly we can model and integrate key components of excellence, or the profound, and bring them to do greater work, have greater impact and to deepen the transformation we seek in our lives and the lives of others. This is certainly what I've been doing over the years - modelling the difference that makes a difference - and the exponential effects of being on this path are truly astonishing. As the saying goes, there really are no limits but those that we put upon ourselves.  I’ve shared a few books below from my library which are in line with these concepts; they share roadmaps of how we can all move beyond the ordinary and into the world of the extraordinary.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I am... For now, I've just touched down in Cape Town for another course out here. We’re breaking new ground by bringing together business people and community leaders from townships throughout South Africa for a 5 day deep-dive into the structure of profound and lasting change - which can then ripple out into businesses and communities here in South Africa.   Who knows what will emerge over the comings days, but what I do know is that when we understand and embrace the deeper layers of reality and our place in the unfolding cosmos - when we get that paradigm shift - irreversible changes are set in motion.  How and why we show up changes.   And that’s what I’m going to be doing for myself and going to share with others out here over the next week or so - how we can all exponentially accelerate our impact, influence, work or art by daring to lead, ourselves first and foremost!  A look back at some of my favourite moments from our retreat in Ibiza... And I’ve just confirmed a couple of NLP Retreats in Ibiza early next year.  The first one is March 2-9th and the second June 1-9th 2019.  Let me know if you’re keen to know more about either.. In a couple of weeks I’m off to Berlin, then the UK, Rome, Goa and Sri Lanka.  And then back to Europe in March next year.  I'm feeling most blessed and in flow at the moment although super sensitive to incongruences when they show up.  Whereas I used to perceive these as problems or things to avoid, I'm now embracing them as profound learning opportunities and gateways to my next level of growth. If you'd like a piece of that by joining me somewhere on my travels or by having a powerful coaching conversation then do reach out. And finally, we still have a few places left on my Retreat in Goa this January.  So if you have a sense of wanting more freedom in your life, then I invite you to dive into a profound and transformational experience with me this winter. 3rd - 11th January 2019 (Payment by instalments available on request) On completion, you'll gain ANLP recognised Practitioner, Master Practitioner or NLP Trainer Certification. And you'll do all of this in the company of other successful people who have a passion for making a difference in the world today.  We do hope you can join us! Love, Tristan
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Love, Life An Learning

Love, Life An Learning

Hi there I'm writing this as I prepare to jump on a flight to France tonight.  I'm off to spend a week or so with my dear friends Lesley McDonald and Sue Knight.  Sue has been my NLP mentor for many years, and it's a very unexpected but delightful gift for me to be back with them again.  Last time I was in their company together was in India, many years ago. I only decided to join them, when by chance, we had a chat on Monday.  Sue's running a course for the next week and it turns out that it's a great time for me to be back in that very special environment, where deep change can occur.  I'll keep you posted! Many of you will probably know that I ended up in hospital out here in Ibiza about a month ago. After a day waiting around and having various test, I was diagnosed with Glandular Fever.  I was promptly sent home with a smile on my face and some drugs.  The drip made me feel on top of the world!  I thought myself lucky at the outcome and my diagnosis, as the symptoms had been terrible! I moved home the following day. The next week was one of the worst I can remember in my life. It’s hard to describe.  The closest I've come to describing it, is as being 'unplugged'.  It was like having the life completely sucked out of me.  I felt hopeless and directionless.  Horrible! So the last month has been one of the most challenging of my life in many ways.  I realise now how closely related energy is to my vision.  Without energy, its impossible to infuse vision.  And vision is vital for a healthy life. I had a sense that there were some significant learnings and discoveries for me in the healing process.  And boy was I right.  Being in the field of transformation, I find it pretty easy to process these days, in ways that transform my experience.  But this one was extremely difficult in the depths of my despair.  And since then it's taken time.  Sometimes things do. However, this last week, I've had a remarkable turnaround.  My energy has returned and I now have a zest for life which is unstoppable!  It's as if I'm making up for lost time and a new lease of life has been granted to me.  I'm inspired by my vision once again and the people around me.  And I'm so grateful for all the support and the larger process that's always at play in our lives. I've had some pretty profound insights and have started writing each day.  And I've committed to many other life giving things as a by product of the challenges I've experienced, but also as a way of fuelling myself to go to the next level in my personal and professional life.  Commitment is and has been a big theme for me recently.  It's completely transformational, especially in the face of uncertainty and the challenges that hold us back. It's the moments of committed decision that transform our lives. Oh... but the rollercoaster of life hey!  And yet like any crazy and scary ride, it's all so very worth it in the end. I'll be sharing much more of my reflections and writing in due course.  If in the meantime, if you'd like some more regular updates, resources, inspiration and extraordinary things I come across, feel free to like my Facebook Page here which I'm becoming much more active on. Apart from this next week in France, I'm excited about and focussed on my annual retreat out here in Ibiza... and this year at a stunning new villa! I've posted some photos of it below.  And we've still got an early bird running, so if you're keen to know more, or have any questions you can check out the photos and details below.  And of course, drop me a message if you want to.  And if you've not seen the video, please do.... it's lovely 🙂 Love, Tristan To all the other dreamers out there, don't ever stop or let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible. Adam Green
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We Swim In Language As Fish Do In Water

We Swim In Language As Fish Do In Water

Hi We swim in language, as fish do in water. We are surrounded by language in every aspect of our lives and yet, we are for the large part, unconscious of how it affects us.  But it does.  Every word! You see, you cannot separate language from experience. Every word spoken, creates a world of internal experience for the listener, whether that’s someone else, or ourselves listening to ourselves. So the words we use, create our experience.  And that is the world we inhabit moment by moment.  NLP is the study of that subjective world. Our ability to increase conscious awareness of how we are creating our world through language is not beyond our capacity.  In fact you could say that it’s essential to live our lives fully.  Meditation has many health benefits by raising conscious awareness of our experience.  NLP similarly has many benefits, but raising awareness to our experience; and by learning to change and enrich it through the words we use. The limits of your language become the limit of your life.  The wider your ability to describe your experience of life, the richer your experience of life becomes. Robert Dilts once said that flexibility is having multiple options and that wisdom is having multiple perspectives. I’d say that power is having multiple ways of describing and enriching our experience.   Enrich your language and you enrich your life… and the lives of all those around you. Are you ready to change your language.. And your world? Where would you start? Love, Tristan
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Do You Ever Struggle To Retain What You Learn?

Do You Ever Struggle To Retain What You Learn?

Hi I received this question the other day.  I thought it was such a great one, and I enjoyed responding to it so much, that I thought I'd share with you here.. "When I read I struggle to obtain and hold in information. I’d really like to study NLP amongst other things. I was wondering if any of you had any links, books and ideas that you would recommend on learning and retaining it." My response was as follows... A few things come to mind Hannah. There have been many studies on reading and learning/ retention. It’s pretty well known that for most people, reading is far from the most effective way of retaining learning. Why? In part because reading is not normally a fully lived and embodied experience of learning, but rather, a cognitive one. Real learning has to be experienced and embodied. Aside that, the structure often gets lost in the content of a book. So I’d suggest the following: 1. Always read with an outcome or purpose in mind. Preferably both! Ask before you even pick up a book - what’s the purpose of me reading this now? That orients learning.. and action. 2. Go for the structure. What’s the essential message in this paragraph, chapter, book etc? 3. Once you have the structure coded in your experience, find a way to use it, or share it, as soon as possible. That will increase retention. Again, it’s taking it into action/ experience rather than remaining theory. 4. The structure of learning goes something like this: a) Immersion (in this case reading) b) Reflection (what stands out/ is key) c) Action/ Application (how am I going to use this now) d) Feedback (what needs to change in my model and approach)
e) Integration (a way of being where the learning is unconscious) 5. It seems to me that the key aspects of the sequence for you currently are the Reflection and Action pieces. How do you Reflect on what you’ve read and then Apply it? 6. Once you Apply it, you’ll get Feedback on whether what you’re applying is working. Then you can adapt your model/ understanding of the learning and ultimately Integrate the learning as a way of being. I hope that helps! And great question 🙂 p.s. this piece of writing could be fertile ground for you to notice your current learning retention strategy and try something new! After all there is learning in this piece of writing. What will you do with it I wonder?  [that goes for you too, if you're reading this now I hope you enjoyed this as much as Hannah, myself and the WhatsApp Group where the question was posted did.  It got me thinking that the way I love sharing most is in response to specific questions from people I know. So fire away with questions about love, life and the Universe (or NLP, business development, coaching and creating any kind of change) and I'll do my best to respond with something that I hope is useful for you, and others! Love, Tristan
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South Africa, Book Recommendations and Ibiza

South Africa, Book Recommendations and Ibiza

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness." Martin Luther King, Jr. South Africa has always touched my heart. It’s a place of deep contrast, breath-taking beauty and profound challenge. And yet, precisely because of that challenge, there’s a spirit of generosity, cooperation and development - as well as a passion for making a difference - like nowhere else on Earth. I’m inspired by the humanity and stories - of both the struggle and success - in making empowering meaning and a truly inspiring difference out of the darkness, segregation, poverty and despair here. We are faced with such a divisive and challenging worldview in so many ways, so having examples like this - of how to be present with, and transcend the dark night of the soul as individuals, organisations and communities - has never been more important. To turn challenge into opportunity; see light amidst the darkness; return from the past and future into the present moment, and transform fear into love - this is what South Africa represents and offers in many ways. Next year I’m hoping to document and make a film about some of these inspiring stories and projects. The irresistible invitation for me each time I come here and run a course is to become fully alive in this moment - to choose living in the now rather than the past or future; to choose love over fear; and to do whatever 'internal work' is required to make that profound shift. The structural difference between these ways of being (which of course NLP is all about) is like night and day. To be more accurate - it's freedom for the soul, rather than being imprisoned by the thoughts of ego.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width="1/2"][vc_single_image image="4907" img_size="full"][/vc_column][vc_column width="1/2"][vc_single_image image="4906" img_size="full"][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width="1/2"][vc_single_image image="4905" img_size="full"][/vc_column][vc_column width="1/2"][vc_single_image image="4908" img_size="full"][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=".vc_custom_1533508211874{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}"] And to continue with the themes of presence and deep transformation, if you’re looking for inspiration and a game changing, mind bending read then I’d thoroughly recommend some of these beauties that I’ve been enjoying recently. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=".vc_custom_1533508350779{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}"]“It’s exciting… it’s like what can I do next? What can we do next? The power that we all have within us… and the power of language and of learning things and of learning structure… and then what we can all do together as a group and as a community and as a country and as a world… it’s endless, it’s endless possibilities!” Natalie Brown, Director of @7 Project Management So how about getting your gift out into the world this summer by joining me in Ibiza for a deep dive into the structure of inner transformation? You’ll get to indulge yourself in the time, skills and environment to experience a powerful transformation – from the inside out. Like so many who have joined us before, you can start really getting your gift out into the world. And the retreat really holds something for everyone. So whether you’re new to NLP, a Practitioner, Master Practitioner or Trainer you’ll take your NLP practice, certification and life to the next level… and way beyond! Like my mentor and coach Gene Early once said, you’re on a profound path. Watch the video below to see some of what you can expect by joining us… and how you too are on a profound path.. if you choose it! A flavour of what you can expect by joining us in Ibiza this summer[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_video link="https://vimeo.com/248588923"][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=".vc_custom_1533508417790{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}"]Read more about the Retreat or Book your place by clicking here And finally, here’s a question for you. Why do we live in fear when the truth will set us free? To my mind, it’s because that is what we’ve been conditioned to do. Since we were children we were taught not to trust ourselves, others or our instincts. It doesn’t mean we can’t. It means we don’t. We’ve been sold a lie – that the material world will make us happy and that we’re not enough without consuming something other than this moment. The solution? Set yourself free from the conditioning of the past and the environment and people who make you think you are, who you’re not. You are SO much more than you think you are! One of the ways we discover more of who we really are, is by leaning into fear. And we’ll be releasing a great Podcast by Angela, Matt and Pete (who are all members of my team and have trained with me over the years) in which they unpack how to lean into fear, and how this one thing can radically improve the quality and direction of your life. Keep an eye out for this and other Podcasts dropping into your inbox soon. That’s it from me for now. Next stop is the UK for a week or two in April, then Austria for a hiking holiday in the mountains… and then probably back to my beloved Ibiza. And lots of webinars and coaching and powerful, enriching conversations to enjoy along the way. I wish the same for you. If you have any questions; or if we can help or support you with your current challenges or vision then do get in touch. I love hearing from you. Love, Tristan[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Everything is falling apart... or is it?

Everything is falling apart... or is it?

I recently asked some people in my coaching community what webinar topics they would get the most value from.  A few people came back with the theme of - how to focus on their vision when 'everything' is falling apart? Sounds like a great topic to me.  I've felt things falling apart so many times that I've lost count.  I'm sure we all feel like that at times. So how do we focus on our vision, when everything is falling apart? The simple answer is, we don't!  I mean that literally.  We don't.  And therein lies the problem.  We focus on everything falling apart. In simple terms, we take the events that we experience in the outside world (or what I call primary experience) and make meaning of those events in our subjective (or secondary) experience. In other words, we re-present the external world in our internal world and make up what it means. So we see, hear and feel a falling apart in our secondary experience.  We might see things going wrong in our imagination and be saying all kinds of things to ourselves ("uuugh... everything is falling apart") which make us feel shitty.  Essentially, we make meaning - shitty meaning - based on what we perceive is happening in our experience. Primary experience is what happens before we filter the world of undifferentiated experience through our senses.  Secondary experience is how we represent what we perceive has happened.  It's where we distort reality and make meaning... "everything is falling apart"! Now here's the interesting and indisputable truth, from my lived experience of 43 years on this planet: At some level, things will fall apart, that's a given We will think and feel that they are falling apart and therefore 'go to pieces' At this point, we stop focusing on our vision and instead focus on the falling apart We create this response in our secondary experience - or the way we represent what we perceive has happened in primary experience The underlying beliefs driving our response are the issue, NOT the primary experience (what actually happened) about which we have made up meaning Each time we experience a falling apart (or any problem) it's in fact THE OPPORTUNITY of a lifetime to address and transform the underlying belief (and therefore response) in order to create FREEDOM Thus 'falling aparts' are in fact opportunities to grow into the fullness of who we were born to be Most people don't know how to make this transition so they settle for what Robert Quinn calls, slow death They continue to think that someone or something out there in the world (primary experience) is the limiter or issue, rather than their beliefs.  Or they make meaning and set up beliefs about themselves - which then limit choice and make them feel shitty This then begs the question, how do we focus on our vision when 'everything' is falling apart? The first thing is to stop trying to focus on our vision.  That's not where the focus needs to be.  Yet! What we have to focus on first, is the underlying belief structure (the lie for want of a better word) which is in large part creating our secondary experience. When we can clearly see the deepest level pattern - the lie - or belief structure holding us back and be present to our distorted truth, a miraculous thing happens. We see the real problem - our thinking, beliefs and perception of the problem - rather than the problem itself.  There are no real problems. As Einstein said, problems are generated by the way we think. "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein It reminds me of a time when I'd come to the end of my tether.  Everything was falling apart, especially in my relationship.  I was utterly stuck.  Until that is, I discovered the deepest level pattern.  I had taken up a life position as a victim.  I hadn't seen it.  But it was true, not just in that situation or moment, but throughout my life. So many times, I could see I got stuck, gave up hope and decided that I didn't have a choice or know what to do; that I was essentially a victim of circumstance.  Of course I didn't see or notice that consciously when I was in it.  When we're in it, it can be very difficult to see.  We need a mirror to see ourselves sometimes.  Left to our own devices we believe our own bullshit more often than not. As I sat with that truth and allowed it to settle, a deep knowing came over me.  I realised that I wasn't really a victim but I had made myself one by unconsciously believing I was.  And then slowly, miraculously, something amazing happened.  I discovered the antidote to the lie. The lie would be resolved when I made a decision at the highest level that I was responsible for myself and my life. That truthfully, I could choose how to respond and feel in each moment. This could be one of the single most important decisions of our lives.  It has far reaching implications for us and the world around us.  Of course we’ll go ‘off track’ sometimes, that’s normal. But to recognise it and get back on track, that’s the work. When we see that it is our thinking, our beliefs and our perception of the problem that are the real problem in our moment of falling apart, we see a larger truth. A deeper truth.  A bigger picture than what we were focusing on just moments before! Once we become aware of our own bullshit, we can see the world of possibility beyond it.  And now we can begin to explore our vision once more. But it requires a commitment to 'doing the work'.  And by this I mean the deep internal work which ultimately sets us free from our own BS and releases us into our vision.  My mentor once said to me "Tristan, you've got a lot of work to do" and boy was he right!  Am I glad I've done and continue to do the work?  You bet! It's the most enlightening and liberating 'work' I can imagine doing and I get to share that with the world and help others transform through it.  That's the gift and purpose of our suffering - to help others who are following in our often painful footsteps so they don't need to suffer.  Marianne Williamson said it beautifully.  "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." A Course in Miracles says that a miracle is a shift in perception.  The moment that we chose to perceive our lives with love we can create miraculous change. This is the work.  The paradox is that the falling apart is an essential part of a coming together at a higher level. The ego says not so.  The soul knows better. Love, Tristan
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Creating Waves

Creating Waves

I ran a Retreat out here in Goa last month and started by sharing that "crisis = breakthrough".  I had just been through a personal crisis which manifested itself physically, with a cricked neck and back. I quickly recognised that because I had a serious physical crisis, I was being offered an opportunity to have a profound breakthrough. So often we get stuck in the crisis [the human experience hey... eyeballs rolling... deep sigh!] rather than recognise the 'seed of equal or greater opportunity' as Napoleon Hill so wisely shared in Think And Grow Rich. I love my life, most of the time! I get to travel the world, run life changing retreats, live and work from beach huts, awaken people to their true potential... and ride my motorbike legally without a helmet! I have a great life 🙂 And yet despite all the internal work I've done, and the freedom I experience, I still return to 'crisis' once in a while. To put it less dramatically, I have plenty of my own problems! It's clear to me, having worked with thousands of people over the years, that the one thing we can be sure of, is having problems. They are here to stay. Perhaps the best we can hope for then, is better quality problems. And to respond to them in more resourceful ways. To use them for growth and development, rather than diminishing ourselves through them, as we so often do. Living in beach huts, riding my bike, running retreats.. and growing enormously from my personal challenges... not a bad life! Tony Robbins said “the only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level.”   I used a metaphor to describe my sense of overwhelm recently. It was like I was redeveloping a house (my business) with a team of people all doing their bit. So exciting! And yet, as I'm sure you know, before any house is redeveloped, things can appear to get worse. A lot worse. The wiring was metaphorically pulled out, the plaster pulled down, the plumbing not working and there I was in the middle of it all, wondering how on earth I got here, in such a mess. This was NOT my vision for bringing a team of awesome people into my business to take it to the next level. But... Crisis = Breakthrough That is, when we believe in that underlying presupposition. One of my gifts is helping people quickly get out of overwhelm or feeling stuck; helping them to get clear on what they really want; and then supporting them to manifest it in their lives. In part, through the use of powerful presuppositions. You'll see some people sharing how they've experienced that in the beautiful video below, shot by Hannah, one of our team members. And I've become pretty good at it. Yet here I was, feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unable to get clear enough to create what I wanted. Talk about taking a dose of your own medicine. As they say, we teach most what we need to learn. On reflection and with a fair bit of processing in the midst of my overwhelm, a few things became clear. First, this was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity for me to learn, grow and go to the next level, not just in my business, but in my vision and leadership. Just like I had with my cricked neck and back. It was clear that I'd got settled into my comfort zone. And paradoxically, I was uncomfortable staying there. Robert Quinn describes this as the normal state that most of us live in. He states that we settle for 'slow death'. It's the law of entropy. My comfortable life, swanning around the world, doing what I want when I want, had actually been stopping me for doing the very thing I help others do - to grow! The way out of 'slow death' or our comfort zone, is to become purpose or results driven. This requires a new level of vision. The shift according to Quinn is from... Comfort Driven to Purpose Driven Self Focused to Other Focused Externally Directed to Internally Directed Internally Closed to Externally Open I had settled for coasting. I had been too self absorbed and comfort driven. But there's another level for me to operate at in my life and business. There always is. And that for me, was to step up and lead; to commit to a larger vision and purpose. Ultimately, this is what our heart and soul yearns for - to make a difference in the world - in our own unique way. To continue to learn and grow and contribute beyond ourselves. To manifest a vision that lies dormant, in our heart, waiting to be awakened and unleashed in the world. I had settled for comfort over purpose and lacked a vision compelling enough for me to let go of my comfort and selfish needs. I recognise of course, that it's not that comfort isn't valuable or ok. It's both, but it's also a limiter to our personal growth and impact in the world. And with vision and a desire to make an impact out there in the world comes a great deal of energy and inspiration. It's like the Universe hears our heart yearning to make a difference and conspires toward helping us on our way; to grow and to make the difference we were born to make. As Judy de Lozier once asked me, how much can you allow the Universe to flow through you? When we have a heartfelt vision to change the world in our unique way - anything becomes possible for us as individuals, communities and the world - as Natalie who joined us in Ibiza so beautifully shares in the video 'Transformational Journeying' below. And so I've been exploring, writing and awakening to a larger vision than I'd previously allowed myself to have. One that is compelling enough for me that it enables me to say 'yes, I'm willing to give up my comfort; yes I’m willing to pay the price of being internally directed rather than externally directed; yes I’m willing to invest in others because I have the energy to know that my own needs are taken care of; the openness to say - oh I’ve got to do something radically different and purpose driven now - in order to be fulfilled at the highest level. So that's where I'm at - being present with, unpacking and articulating a new vision and sense of purpose. And right now it looks something like supporting coaches, change agents and people in India, Africa and Europe to create personal freedom as well as loving, learning and supportive communities around them, who are all committed to doing the same. We will never truly know the depth of the impact we have in the world, but we can be sure it ripples out into the eternal present moment in miraculous ways when we learn to love and share our gift with the world lovingly. That's my vision... To revolutionise the world of NLP Training so that people on a learning journey have such a profound transformational experience, platform, community and support - before, during and after any course they join - that they are catapulted into creating the vision they have in their heart. So they not only get this... But they also get what I talk about below, a whole system of support to help them in making the difference they want to make in the world. Next month we'll be sharing more about this and releasing my new website along with details and an Early Bird discount for my next retreat in Ibiza. But for now I'm excited to be launching my latest certified NLP course in Bournemouth.  Newcomers are also very welcome!  Whether you’re brand new to NLP, or well experienced, you can expect to take your skills, influence and life to the next level.  And if you do choose to join us, you’ll be welcomed into a unique environment and community that supports your personal and professional development, through honesty, openness and world class NLP Training and Coaching. When we discover and step into our place in the world; when we tap into our latent potential - then endless possibilities open up to us, and for us.  I invite you to join us on this immersive and exciting journey and begin stepping into your highest vision.  I do hope you can join us in Bournemouth on this transformational journey - so that you can accelerate your ability to succeed in creating your personal and professional life - in a way that is full of fun, learning, integrity, deep change and possibility.  And make the kind of impact you want to in the world that it and your heart yearns for! And after spending winter here in Goa, next stop for me is South Africa where I'll be running a  certified Community Development NLP Course in Cape Town.  We still have one space left! In the meantime,  I'll be riding my bike, learning to surf and continuing work with and lead my team and clients into a new level of vision. And of course at the same time, continuing to clarify the 'next level' of my vision; focussing on some of the next steps in that larger process, which include the official launch of our Online School, Global Coaching Community Online Learning Platform and a whole series of transformational live Webinars for those who decide to join our growing, dynamic and loving community.  I do hope you join us sometime, somewhere... What a life!  Bring on the problems 🙂 Love, Tristan
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Amazing content for your mind!

Amazing content for your mind!

"You have the beach, you have the sun and you have amazing content for your mind - Thank you Tristan for this opportunity" Really looking forward to next January's NLP Retreat in Goa
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The future is an epic adventure

The future is an epic adventure

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=".vc_custom_1540995280104{margin-bottom: 0px !important;}"]"Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all" - Helen Keller Again, I've got so much to update you on in this newsletter. But how does one get to the essence, when there is so much content to share? How do we cut to the chase - to what's most important? To my mind, that's exactly what NLP is! It's the difference between content and structure. Right now, I feel there's so much content to share. But what's the essence, the structure? For me it's the future! The future... and an epic adventure! But before we get to that, a quick look back at the rich and transformational NLP Foundation Event we had in Bournemouth recently.   As always, we had a great bunch and so much fun; as well as some deep, powerful change for us all. It's such a gift and privilege to be able to create space for people to open up to their own epic adventure. I feel like I've really landed and found my calling. I've discovered what I'm great at and love doing. And that's coaching; helping others to find their calling; supporting them to discover the essence of what they're great at and step into what they love doing. I'm so grateful to have the skills to help them make the kind of changes in their thinking and life that literally create miracles. As Rich Litvin said - I have a career that doesn't even make sense. The only way I can describe it is to say this: I am in the miracle business. People spend time with me. We talk. And miracles occur.   And on that note a BIG thank you to those in my awesome and growing team. Without them I could not do what I do! It's remarkable how quickly what we want can manifest when we get clear on what we want; when we believe in it whole-heartedly and take action towards it. Just a few months ago I was huffing and puffing about not being able to get what I wanted done in my business. Overwhelm, stress, like a hamster on a wheel! Out of that problem (as is always the case!) came a solution. Build a team. In fact without that problem I would not have been gifted the solution. Problems are the pre-cursor to breakthroughs. We're now nine strong and counting! I recognise the structure in this and most profound change. It goes something like this... Barrier >>> Belief Change >>> Transformation >>> Miracles I'm sure I'll be sharing more about the who's, what's, how's and why's of our Team in due course but for now, just to say a big thank to Victoria, Angela, Pete, Matt, Sarah, Hannah, Adam and Justin. We'll be sharing lots of exciting updates and adventures in due course. They are all remarkable people in their own right, many running their own businesses. Oh... and we're still looking for a great Animator and App designer if you know of any! A part of our current focus and the output of our collective effort is the launch of our online NLP School / Learning Platform and Global Coaching Community this autumn. It's taking shape slowly but surely. The foundations are there and we're about to go through School ourselves. So we look forward to sharing more about and hopefully welcoming you into that in the coming months.   We're nearly set for my very special Ibiza Retreat next month. Always one of the most significant weeks of personal insight and transformation for myself each year. There are so many layers and levels to this work. There really is no limit to our learning and lives apart from those we set and the laws of physics! And even those we seem to be able to overcome. After Ibiza and a quick stop in the UK I'm off to Goa again where the hustle and bustle of the subcontinent gives way to a measured languor, coconut groves and long stretches of golden sand beaches kissing the Arabian Sea for miles and miles...   Each year, a magical experience!  And the Retreat in Sean's words is "the best way to start the New Year".  I agree!     We still have a handful of places left so if you're keen to find out more then send me a message or you can go here for details. As for the future and my epic adventure. Well, I’ve come to realise the nature of the internal and external adventures we have. And how important they both are. Whether I find myself exploring Africa, climbing mountains in the Himalayas or trekking the Andes in South America (all of which are on my radar... but there are so many other places I want to explore!) there is a structure and internal state to the experience, as well as the majesty of the external. To some degree it doesn't really matter where I am, as long as I'm experiencing those feelings of exploring, adventure, expanding possibility and joy then it's all good. And we can experience those states anywhere! So while I'm off to India for winter and exploring southern Africa and beyond next year, it's the internal adventure and discovery I've been on for a long time now and that I love so much that actually enables my travels. It's the kind of adventure I relish as much as, if not more than the external. When I’m coaching or being coached I know there will be adventure, learning, change and beauty. Like getting drawn into a great book, as we embark on the inner adventure we get taken on a journey into the unknown that is rich, immersive and transformational. Never completely sure where we'll end up; stepping into the unknown - trusting that something wonderful will emerge which it always does - discovering rich and beautiful worlds upon worlds of experience, possibility and joy. What a world we live in. Deserving of an epic adventure I'd say! Love, Tristan[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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