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Creating Waves

I ran a Retreat out here in Goa last month and started by sharing that “crisis = breakthrough”.  I had just been through a personal crisis which manifested itself physically, with a cricked neck and back.

I quickly recognised that because I had a serious physical crisis, I was being offered an opportunity to have a profound breakthrough. So often we get stuck in the crisis [the human experience hey… eyeballs rolling… deep sigh!] rather than recognise the ‘seed of equal or greater opportunity’ as Napoleon Hill so wisely shared in Think And Grow Rich.

I love my life, most of the time! I get to travel the world, run life changing retreats, live and work from beach huts, awaken people to their true potential… and ride my motorbike legally without a helmet! I have a great life :)

And yet despite all the internal work I’ve done, and the freedom I experience, I still return to ‘crisis’ once in a while. To put it less dramatically, I have plenty of my own problems!

It’s clear to me, having worked with thousands of people over the years, that the one thing we can be sure of, is having problems. They are here to stay. Perhaps the best we can hope for then, is better quality problems. And to respond to them in more resourceful ways. To use them for growth and development, rather than diminishing ourselves through them, as we so often do.

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Living in beach huts, riding my bike, running retreats.. and growing enormously from my personal challenges… not a bad life!

 

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Tony Robbins said “the only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level.”

I used a metaphor to describe my sense of overwhelm recently. It was like I was redeveloping a house (my business) with a team of people all doing their bit. So exciting!

And yet, as I’m sure you know, before any house is redeveloped, things can appear to get worse. A lot worse. The wiring was metaphorically pulled out, the plaster pulled down, the plumbing not working and there I was in the middle of it all, wondering how on earth I got here, in such a mess. This was NOT my vision for bringing a team of awesome people into my business to take it to the next level. But…

Crisis = Breakthrough

That is, when we believe in that underlying presupposition. One of my gifts is helping people quickly get out of overwhelm or feeling stuck; helping them to get clear on what they really want; and then supporting them to manifest it in their lives. In part, through the use of powerful presuppositions.

You’ll see some people sharing how they’ve experienced that in the beautiful video below, shot by Hannah, one of our team members. And I’ve become pretty good at it. Yet here I was, feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unable to get clear enough to create what I wanted. Talk about taking a dose of your own medicine. As they say, we teach most what we need to learn.

On reflection and with a fair bit of processing in the midst of my overwhelm, a few things became clear. First, this was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity for me to learn, grow and go to the next level, not just in my business, but in my vision and leadership. Just like I had with my cricked neck and back.

It was clear that I’d got settled into my comfort zone. And paradoxically, I was uncomfortable staying there. Robert Quinn describes this as the normal state that most of us live in. He states that we settle for ‘slow death’. It’s the law of entropy. My comfortable life, swanning around the world, doing what I want when I want, had actually been stopping me for doing the very thing I help others do – to grow! The way out of ‘slow death’ or our comfort zone, is to become purpose or results driven. This requires a new level of vision. The shift according to Quinn is from…

Comfort Driven to Purpose Driven
Self Focused to Other Focused
Externally Directed to Internally Directed
Internally Closed to Externally Open

I had settled for coasting. I had been too self absorbed and comfort driven. But there’s another level for me to operate at in my life and business. There always is. And that for me, was to step up and lead; to commit to a larger vision and purpose. Ultimately, this is what our heart and soul yearns for – to make a difference in the world – in our own unique way. To continue to learn and grow and contribute beyond ourselves. To manifest a vision that lies dormant, in our heart, waiting to be awakened and unleashed in the world.

I had settled for comfort over purpose and lacked a vision compelling enough for me to let go of my comfort and selfish needs.

I recognise of course, that it’s not that comfort isn’t valuable or ok. It’s both, but it’s also a limiter to our personal growth and impact in the world. And with vision and a desire to make an impact out there in the world comes a great deal of energy and inspiration. It’s like the Universe hears our heart yearning to make a difference and conspires toward helping us on our way; to grow and to make the difference we were born to make.

As Judy de Lozier once asked me, how much can you allow the Universe to flow through you? When we have a heartfelt vision to change the world in our unique way – anything becomes possible for us as individuals, communities and the world – as Natalie who joined us in Ibiza so beautifully shares in the video ‘Transformational Journeying’ below.

And so I’ve been exploring, writing and awakening to a larger vision than I’d previously allowed myself to have. One that is compelling enough for me that it enables me to say ‘yes, I’m willing to give up my comfort; yes I’m willing to pay the price of being internally directed rather than externally directed; yes I’m willing to invest in others because I have the energy to know that my own needs are taken care of; the openness to say – oh I’ve got to do something radically different and purpose driven now – in order to be fulfilled at the highest level.

So that’s where I’m at – being present with, unpacking and articulating a new vision and sense of purpose. And right now it looks something like supporting coaches, change agents and people in India, Africa and Europe to create personal freedom as well as loving, learning and supportive communities around them, who are all committed to doing the same. We will never truly know the depth of the impact we have in the world, but we can be sure it ripples out into the eternal present moment in miraculous ways when we learn to love and share our gift with the world lovingly. That’s my vision…

To revolutionise the world of NLP Training so that people on a learning journey have such a profound transformational experience, platform, community and support – before, during and after any course they join – that they are catapulted into creating the vision they have in their heart.

So they not only get this…

Transformational stories and journeys on my retreat in Ibiza last year
But they also get what I talk about below, a whole system of support to help them in making the difference they want to make in the world.

Next month we’ll be sharing more about this and releasing my new website along with details and an Early Bird discount for my next retreat in Ibiza. But for now I’m excited to be launching my latest certified NLP course in Bournemouth – for Practitioner, Master Practitioner and NLP Trainers. Newcomers are also very welcome!

Whether you’re brand new to NLP, or well experienced, you can expect to take your skills, influence and life to the next level. And if you do choose to join us, you’ll be welcomed into a unique environment and community that supports your personal and professional development, through honesty, openness and world class NLP Training and Coaching.

When we discover and step into our place in the world; when we tap into our latent potential – then endless possibilities open up to us, and for us. I invite you to join us on this immersive and exciting journey and begin stepping into your highest vision. You can find full details here.

Book at the early Bird Price now for just £1,500
(monthly instalments available upon request)

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I do hope you can join us in Bournemouth on this transformational journey – so that you can accelerate your ability to succeed in creating your personal and professional life – in a way that is full of fun, learning, integrity, deep change and possibility. And make the kind of impact you want to in the world that it and your heart yearns for!

And after spending winter here in Goa, next stop for me is South Africa where I’ll be running a certified Community Development NLP Course in Cape Town. We still have one space left!

In the meantime, I’ll be riding my bike, learning to surf and continuing work with and lead my team and clients into a new level of vision.

And of course at the same time, continuing to clarify the ‘next level’ of my vision; focussing on some of the next steps in that larger process, which include the official launch of our Online School, Global Coaching Community Online Learning Platform and a whole series of transformational live Webinars for those who decide to join our growing, dynamic and loving community. I do hope you join us sometime, somewhere…

What a life! Bring on the problems :)

Love, Tristan

Sept Newsletter

The future is an epic adventure

“Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all” – Helen Keller
Again, I’ve got so much to update you on in this newsletter. But how does one get to the essence, when there is so much content to share? How do we cut to the chase – to what’s most important?

To my mind, that’s exactly what NLP is! It’s the difference between content and structure.

Right now, I feel there’s so much content to share. But what’s the essence, the structure?

For me it’s the future! The future… and an epic adventure!

But before we get to that, a quick look back at the rich and transformational NLP Foundation Event we had in Bournemouth recently.

 

Bournemouth 2017

As always, we had a great bunch and so much fun; as well as some deep, powerful change for us all. It’s such a gift and privilege to be able to create space for people to open up to their own epic adventure.

I feel like I’ve really landed and found my calling. I’ve discovered what I’m great at and love doing. And that’s coaching; helping others to find their calling; supporting them to discover the essence of what they’re great at and step into what they love doing. I’m so grateful to have the skills to help them make the kind of changes in their thinking and life that literally create miracles.

As Rich Litvin said – I have a career that doesn’t even make sense. The only way I can describe it is to say this: I am in the miracle business. People spend time with me. We talk. And miracles occur.

Louise Botwright

 

And on that note a BIG thank you to those in my awesome and growing team. Without them I could not do what I do!

It’s remarkable how quickly what we want can manifest when we get clear on what we want; when we believe in it whole-heartedly and take action towards it. Just a few months ago I was huffing and puffing about not being able to get what I wanted done in my business. Overwhelm, stress, like a hamster on a wheel!

Out of that problem (as is always the case!) came a solution. Build a team. In fact without that problem I would not have been gifted the solution. Problems are the pre-cursor to breakthroughs. We’re now nine strong and counting!

I recognise the structure in this and most profound change. It goes something like this…

Barrier >>> Belief Change >>> Transformation >>> Miracles

I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s of our Team in due course but for now, just to say a big thank to Victoria, Angela, Pete, Matt, Sarah, Hannah, Adam and Justin.

We’ll be sharing lots of exciting updates and adventures in due course. They are all remarkable people in their own right, many running their own businesses.

Oh… and we’re still looking for a great Animator and App designer if you know of any!

A part of our current focus and the output of our collective effort is the launch of our online NLP School / Learning Platform and Global Coaching Community this autumn. It’s taking shape slowly but surely. The foundations are there and we’re about to go through School ourselves. So we look forward to sharing more about and hopefully welcoming you into that in the coming months.

NLP Ibiza 2017

We’re nearly set for my very special Ibiza Retreat next month. Always one of the most significant weeks of personal insight and transformation for myself each year.

There are so many layers and levels to this work. There really is no limit to our learning and lives apart from those we set and the laws of physics! And even those we seem to be able to overcome.

After Ibiza and a quick stop in the UK I’m off to Goa again where the hustle and bustle of the subcontinent gives way to a measured languor, coconut groves and long stretches of golden sand beaches kissing the Arabian Sea for miles and miles…

Goa

Each year, a magical experience!  And the Retreat in Sean’s words is “the best way to start the New Year”.  I agree!

We still have a handful of places left so if you’re keen to find out more then send me a message or you can go here for details.

As for the future and my epic adventure. Well, I’ve come to realise the nature of the internal and external adventures we have. And how important they both are.

Whether I find myself exploring Africa, climbing mountains in the Himalayas or trekking the Andes in South America (all of which are on my radar… but there are so many other places I want to explore!) there is a structure and internal state to the experience, as well as the majesty of the external.

To some degree it doesn’t really matter where I am, as long as I’m experiencing those feelings of exploring, adventure, expanding possibility and joy then it’s all good. And we can experience those states anywhere!

So while I’m off to India for winter and exploring southern Africa and beyond next year, it’s the internal adventure and discovery I’ve been on for a long time now and that I love so much that actually enables my travels. It’s the kind of adventure I relish as much as, if not more than the external. When I’m coaching or being coached I know there will be adventure, learning, change and beauty.

Like getting drawn into a great book, as we embark on the inner adventure we get taken on a journey into the unknown that is rich, immersive and transformational. Never completely sure where we’ll end up; stepping into the unknown – trusting that something wonderful will emerge which it always does – discovering rich and beautiful worlds upon worlds of experience, possibility and joy.

What a world we live in. Deserving of an epic adventure I’d say!

Love, Tristan

learning-from-genius

Are you learning from genius (or settling for less)?

When one of the greatest financial genius’ of our time, Warren Buffett, said that “the best investment you can make is in yourself” he really meant it.

Admittedly the quote has probably been overused in marketing for years – with people trying to fill their NLP courses and coaching programs – perhaps even by me 😉

It’s so cliched and exhausted, it’s kind of lost its meaning. So what did he really mean by this, is it true and why should we sit up and take note now?

Given that most of us ‘invest’ in depreciating assets – cars, televisions and the like; and given that some of us invest in appreciating assets – shares, properties and businesses etc – why would it better to invest in ourselves?

What does it actually mean to invest in ourselves anyway?

As I’m sure you already know, depreciating ‘assets’ are those things we buy that depreciate in value – the majority of material things we purchase. When we spend more than we earn and we don’t invest any surplus (say in appreciating assets) we stay in what we all know as the rat race – with never quite enough to escape it. None of us want that.

When we invest in appreciating assets however, these can in time, give us an income that enables us to either reinvest, or spend the money as we like. This gives us a measure of freedom. The wealthy know this ‘secret’ very well. This is what Warren Buffett has done, perhaps better than anyone else alive today. So why would he say there are better investments you can make than the very thing that has made him a billionaire many times over?

Our traditional education system is not fit for purpose for the modern era. As a result, there is a ground swell of opportunity for adults to learn, grow and develop these days – to invest in ourselves – through online and offline training and courses. Never before have we had access to so much knowledge or opportunity.

As adults wanting to mature and develop into our full potential, we have to hunt out the best education we can get for ourselves, because it’s clearly not going to be given to us on a plate. This is what he means by investing in yourself.

But where to begin?open-your-mind

With an overwhelming array of information, content and courses to choose from, how do we choose the best of the best in terms of our own ongoing education?

The thing that has made the biggest difference for me in seeking out the best teachers and trainers in the world has been to match my desire with their genius. Not the marketing. I didn’t do this consciously to begin with, you could say I got lucky. In a way I stumbled across genius, rather than seeking it out in the early days.

It’s not just the results (the book, the business, the money, the stocks and shares or whatever else we are looking for and has tangible results) though that’s normally what marketeers will sell you on. It’s who we become as a result of the life changing journey we embark on – as we put ourselves and our hard earned cash in the trusted hands of someone who will hopefully teach us the ‘secrets of their success’.

I have sought out and continue to model genius I truly admire – leaders of the heart; exceptional coaches and mentors; people who have learned to love, to heal, to laugh, be real, open, ruthlessly honest and to make a real difference in the world.

Yes I’ve got tangible results – the business, the websites, the properties, money and more. What’s more valuable than any of this however, has been the person I have become. As they say, all you’re left with when you die is who you became. You can’t take any of it with you.

John Grinder, one of the founders of NLP (and a genius in his own right) once said that “the relationship between the model and the modeller [i.e. student and teacher] is so intimate that I wouldn’t consider [modelling] someone until I’d been in their presence, personally verified that I recognised genius in what they were doing… and there has to be some sort of movement inside of me at the unconscious level that says ‘YEAH’!”

My criteria for choosing models of excellence, trainers or coaches now – and I’ve chosen some very good and very bad ones in my time – is to choose those who have a congruent ‘why’ or purpose for doing what they do.  One that ‘oozes’ from their very being.

Ultimately this is almost always because it’s what they truly love doing; it’s their calling, their passion, their raison d’etre. Or all of the above! Very rarely do I choose someone because they can help me make money or a bestseller or whatever else it is. I’m sure they can. But when someone’s heart is not in the right place, I’m no longer interested. I’ve lost that gamble too many times.

I need to invest in people who are truly invested in me, themselves and life. Like Grinder, I need to be in their presence, to recognise their genius and have an unconscious pull which says “YEAH!” towards wanting some of what they have. Then it’s a green light. That couldn’t be further from the red light of marketing or sales or positioning that so many educational ‘systems’ or ‘experts’ promote. In fact, you’ll find that most genius’ don’t promote at all. They attract.

Who are you attracted by?

As one of my mentors once said, be careful who you model. You might get more than you bargained for.

Beginning-my-NLP-Journey-blog

Beginning My NLP Journey

I remember the first time ‘I got it’.  I was sitting with a new friend called Dom, on my NLP Business Practitioner course.

It might have been the second day, I can’t remember exactly.  However I do remember that in the space of about five minutes, doing nothing other than asking him some simple questions, his whole state and physiology changed.  He was beaming me a smile.  He was so grateful for me helping him figure something out and I was so grateful for being able to help him.

I had just seen with my own eyes the power of NLP; the simplicity and beauty of it and I wanted more.  I finished my NLP Practitioner a few months later and was a changed man.

A few years prior to this however, I’d never even heard of NLP courses.   I was in a horrible job, selling corporate videos to CEO’s around the world.  I say selling, more accurately trying to sell.  Imagine a London call centre, grey cardboard booths separating people like cattle and lots of falsely impassioned young men and women trying to convince high powered executives at the other end of the phone to part with £16,000 for a corporate video that would be beamed around the world on satellite television channels.  Sales.. sales.. sales… I couldn’t stand it.

Previous to this job I had been running a film production company, fresh out of University. I had no idea what I was doing, but me and a couple of friends thought it would be a fun and good idea to make a film. Fast forward a year and we had produced the most expensive short film of ’97 and a couple of music videos.  I was heavily in debt, so felt I had to bail out and get a job. And this is where I ended up, in a goldfish bowl unable to get out!

Long story short, my friend Alex called me up one beautiful sunny day as I was sat inside my grey cubicle.  The contrast couldn’t have been more stark.   I felt unable to find a way out of my physical, mental and emotional prison. There I was inside my goldfish bowl looking out onto a beautiful and sunny world. I could see and almost touch it, but from my side of the window I couldn’t have it.

In that moment, Alex asks me down the phone “Stan, you fancy going to work in Ibiza for the summer?”  My immediate response was something like “Yeah.. for sure mate.. Let’s get out of here!”  At the time, I had no idea how we’d make it work, I just knew that we would and could and the vision of being in Ibiza selling music was infinitely more inspiring than sitting in a cubicle for the summer doing some incongruent job.  I had been to Ibiza on holiday the year before but truth be told, I had no real idea of how it would work.  I did however see other people making it work when i was on holiday and I knew the pain of remaining in London, was waaaaay more painful than following what felt right in my heart.

Before I left that job, the sales manager mentioned a book that forever changed my life.  He said to me that if there is one book you ever read, make it Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. Funnily enough I didn’t read the book for about 2 or 3 years (I’m a slow learner!) but when I then decided to set up a clothing label (which would become my second ‘failed’ venture into business), I thought it might be a good idea.

It was a page turner. However, it didn’t help me to shift any of the core patterns I’d had from growing up in a highly dysfunctional family. I believe that these things run deeper than any book can fully address.

At the back of the book was a card which I posted, requesting more information. Before I knew it I’d reluctantly signed up for a seminar by Anthony Robbins.  The salesman was very, very good!

That weekend changed the direction of my life forever. Funnily enough, things actually took a turn for the worse after the event, but it had awoken something within me; something I knew to be true, but that had eluded me until then. That within all of us are the seeds of greatness and possibility; that we can all awaken the giant within us.  Until then I had been plagued by self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity and more. Yet somehow I knew that life had to make sense somehow. I couldn’t just be destined to a life of limitations and unhappiness.

The experience opened the floodgates of possibility; it gave me an experience of believing that anything was possible; I had a vision and I was determined to achieve it. I had begun my NLP journey without really knowing what it was or how it worked. I just knew there was something in it, in me, that was special, worth exploring and moving towards.

As they say, all great journeys start with the first step. I had taken mine. And my life has never been the same again.

I am often reminded of how profoundly life changing that choice was and how, as a result, I keep on finding deeper levels of personal, emotional and financial freedom that I once deemed impossible.

I’m also reminded of what Bob Gass said. “What we see and hear is what we think about. What we think about is what we feel. What we feel influences our reactions. Reactions become habits and it is our habits that determine our destiny”.

I had a new vision; I was thinking differently; I had control over my destiny because I had begun to see, hear and think about a different possibility for my life. The future was bright and it was mine for the taking. As long as I was prepared to continue doing the ‘inner work’ and removing the barriers I had created through my thoughts, I could create the kind of life I wanted.

Continue the journey… A Way Out At Last

The view from my ‘Lighthouse’ in Ibiza :)