Is sales the fastest way of changing lives?

I’ve had what I can only describe as a lifelong resistance to sales and marketing.  Like many of you reading this, I run my own business.  So if you’re anything like me, how do we bridge the gap between selling and marketing, and our fundamental dislike of it?

Over time, I’ve noticed that when I operate from the ‘frame’ of marketing, it’s about me trying to influence, sell or promote something. It’s me first, you second.  It often feels like manipulation.  Probably for you too.  I see that a lot in the world and it riles me. No wonder the resistance!

However, I recently rediscovered that marketing (or as I prefer to now call it – sharing) has a purpose.  This has been a critical reframe for me.

I really enjoy writing and sharing things I believe will help others.  I realise that whilst for some, this may fall under the banner of marketing, it sounds and feels so much better when I think of it as sharing.  I really want to share. I enjoy sharing!  It’s a way of connecting, impacting and helping people.  That’s not marketing in my world, even if it is in someone else’s.

Sharing serves a ‘higher’ purpose.  The other day I was forced to walk through duty free en route to catch my plane. I found it repulsive – being forced to go through their sales and marketing channels, having no choice about whether to look at their ‘garbage’.

Marketing and sharing have fundamentally different structures.

Marketing Sharing
Head Heart
Win – Lose Win – Win
Self Other
Get the sale Make a difference
Task Relationship
Short term Long term
Competition Collaboration
Selling Serving
Push Pull

I like to think that my writing helps to change people’s thinking and awakens something in them. Yes it attracts people to me, but it also helps them change their lives and create freedom in the same way that I have been fortunate enough to.

So what’s in it for me I hear you ask?  Well, sharing through my writing also supports me to clarify my thinking and my message; it assists in creating compelling content for my book. It helps me process my own stuff and create even more freedom in my life.

I once heard someone say that “marketing is nothing but the transference of emotion.  And sales is the fastest way of changing lives”.  That struck a chord with me.

What I’ve discovered, is that it’s not really about sales at all. It’s about creating a space for me to get into an amazing state. It’s about me changing my life first.  From there, I’m motivated to change the lives of others, in a similar way that mine has been through coaching and NLP training.

We all have our own models of success and how we measure that success. Personally, I increasingly measure my success on the strength of my connections with truth, and with people, and how I make a difference in their lives through truth; ‘sharing’ I hope, helps me to do that.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and your own marketing/sharing experiences…

Love, Tristan


Awakening Each Day

I was getting a coffee this morning, which I don’t do every day (though I have been know to!) and noticed something which I’ve never really seen in this way before.

It’s become a tradition – a way of life for us here in the UK – to have our morning coffee.

On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with this. I love starting my day with a cafe con leche when I’m in Ibiza. In the UK, its more likely to be a cup of tea… or two!

What’s interesting to me when I stop and think about it is, that it has become normal to start our day is with a stimulant. The long-term side-effects of this are pretty apparent, but what are the short-term effects? Well for me, apart from being an artificial way to change my state, after the initial delight of having warm caffeine soup, laced with sugar and milk slipping down my throat, I then start to feel a kind of transparent film descending over my pure consciousness. I’m awake, but not with the same kind of pure energy or consciousness I had as a kid.

Isn’t that an interesting way to start the day?

I recently rediscovered that reading and even writing in the morning, is such an energising way to start my day. It sets up a whole series of events, circumstances and states I experience, that replicate and expand that vibration or energy throughout my day. It doesn’t have to be writing, but for me – reading and writing transform my thinking and energy. Fundamentally. What does that for you?

I recently wrote a list of things that change my energy and therefore life – in 5 minutes or less – things like doing a bit of exercise, deep breathing, walking in nature or asking myself powerful questions (if you want some ask me and I can send you some!).

I’m not suggesting that we all wake as the sun rises and meditate or do yoga as some do in the East.. and even the West. What I am suggesting is that we meet somewhere in the middle. Rather than relying on stimulants and artificial ways of engaging in the world each morning, there is an alternative. There always is :)

Sunrise in Ibiza!

Sunrise in Ibiza!