Creating Waves

I ran a Retreat out here in Goa last month and started by sharing that “crisis = breakthrough”.  I had just been through a personal crisis which manifested itself physically, with a cricked neck and back.

I quickly recognised that because I had a serious physical crisis, I was being offered an opportunity to have a profound breakthrough. So often we get stuck in the crisis [the human experience hey… eyeballs rolling… deep sigh!] rather than recognise the ‘seed of equal or greater opportunity’ as Napoleon Hill so wisely shared in Think And Grow Rich.

I love my life, most of the time! I get to travel the world, run life changing retreats, live and work from beach huts, awaken people to their true potential… and ride my motorbike legally without a helmet! I have a great life :)

And yet despite all the internal work I’ve done, and the freedom I experience, I still return to ‘crisis’ once in a while. To put it less dramatically, I have plenty of my own problems!

It’s clear to me, having worked with thousands of people over the years, that the one thing we can be sure of, is having problems. They are here to stay. Perhaps the best we can hope for then, is better quality problems. And to respond to them in more resourceful ways. To use them for growth and development, rather than diminishing ourselves through them, as we so often do.

unnamed (1)unnamed (2)


Living in beach huts, riding my bike, running retreats.. and growing enormously from my personal challenges… not a bad life!


unnamed (3)unnamed (4)

Tony Robbins said “the only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level.”

I used a metaphor to describe my sense of overwhelm recently. It was like I was redeveloping a house (my business) with a team of people all doing their bit. So exciting!

And yet, as I’m sure you know, before any house is redeveloped, things can appear to get worse. A lot worse. The wiring was metaphorically pulled out, the plaster pulled down, the plumbing not working and there I was in the middle of it all, wondering how on earth I got here, in such a mess. This was NOT my vision for bringing a team of awesome people into my business to take it to the next level. But…

Crisis = Breakthrough

That is, when we believe in that underlying presupposition. One of my gifts is helping people quickly get out of overwhelm or feeling stuck; helping them to get clear on what they really want; and then supporting them to manifest it in their lives. In part, through the use of powerful presuppositions.

You’ll see some people sharing how they’ve experienced that in the beautiful video below, shot by Hannah, one of our team members. And I’ve become pretty good at it. Yet here I was, feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unable to get clear enough to create what I wanted. Talk about taking a dose of your own medicine. As they say, we teach most what we need to learn.

On reflection and with a fair bit of processing in the midst of my overwhelm, a few things became clear. First, this was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity for me to learn, grow and go to the next level, not just in my business, but in my vision and leadership. Just like I had with my cricked neck and back.

It was clear that I’d got settled into my comfort zone. And paradoxically, I was uncomfortable staying there. Robert Quinn describes this as the normal state that most of us live in. He states that we settle for ‘slow death’. It’s the law of entropy. My comfortable life, swanning around the world, doing what I want when I want, had actually been stopping me for doing the very thing I help others do – to grow! The way out of ‘slow death’ or our comfort zone, is to become purpose or results driven. This requires a new level of vision. The shift according to Quinn is from…

Comfort Driven to Purpose Driven
Self Focused to Other Focused
Externally Directed to Internally Directed
Internally Closed to Externally Open

I had settled for coasting. I had been too self absorbed and comfort driven. But there’s another level for me to operate at in my life and business. There always is. And that for me, was to step up and lead; to commit to a larger vision and purpose. Ultimately, this is what our heart and soul yearns for – to make a difference in the world – in our own unique way. To continue to learn and grow and contribute beyond ourselves. To manifest a vision that lies dormant, in our heart, waiting to be awakened and unleashed in the world.

I had settled for comfort over purpose and lacked a vision compelling enough for me to let go of my comfort and selfish needs.

I recognise of course, that it’s not that comfort isn’t valuable or ok. It’s both, but it’s also a limiter to our personal growth and impact in the world. And with vision and a desire to make an impact out there in the world comes a great deal of energy and inspiration. It’s like the Universe hears our heart yearning to make a difference and conspires toward helping us on our way; to grow and to make the difference we were born to make.

As Judy de Lozier once asked me, how much can you allow the Universe to flow through you? When we have a heartfelt vision to change the world in our unique way – anything becomes possible for us as individuals, communities and the world – as Natalie who joined us in Ibiza so beautifully shares in the video ‘Transformational Journeying’ below.

And so I’ve been exploring, writing and awakening to a larger vision than I’d previously allowed myself to have. One that is compelling enough for me that it enables me to say ‘yes, I’m willing to give up my comfort; yes I’m willing to pay the price of being internally directed rather than externally directed; yes I’m willing to invest in others because I have the energy to know that my own needs are taken care of; the openness to say – oh I’ve got to do something radically different and purpose driven now – in order to be fulfilled at the highest level.

So that’s where I’m at – being present with, unpacking and articulating a new vision and sense of purpose. And right now it looks something like supporting coaches, change agents and people in India, Africa and Europe to create personal freedom as well as loving, learning and supportive communities around them, who are all committed to doing the same. We will never truly know the depth of the impact we have in the world, but we can be sure it ripples out into the eternal present moment in miraculous ways when we learn to love and share our gift with the world lovingly. That’s my vision…

To revolutionise the world of NLP Training so that people on a learning journey have such a profound transformational experience, platform, community and support – before, during and after any course they join – that they are catapulted into creating the vision they have in their heart.

So they not only get this…

Transformational stories and journeys on my retreat in Ibiza last year
But they also get what I talk about below, a whole system of support to help them in making the difference they want to make in the world.

Next month we’ll be sharing more about this and releasing my new website along with details and an Early Bird discount for my next retreat in Ibiza. But for now I’m excited to be launching my latest certified NLP course in Bournemouth – for Practitioner, Master Practitioner and NLP Trainers. Newcomers are also very welcome!

Whether you’re brand new to NLP, or well experienced, you can expect to take your skills, influence and life to the next level. And if you do choose to join us, you’ll be welcomed into a unique environment and community that supports your personal and professional development, through honesty, openness and world class NLP Training and Coaching.

When we discover and step into our place in the world; when we tap into our latent potential – then endless possibilities open up to us, and for us. I invite you to join us on this immersive and exciting journey and begin stepping into your highest vision. You can find full details here.

Book at the early Bird Price now for just £1,500
(monthly instalments available upon request)

unnamed (5)


I do hope you can join us in Bournemouth on this transformational journey – so that you can accelerate your ability to succeed in creating your personal and professional life – in a way that is full of fun, learning, integrity, deep change and possibility. And make the kind of impact you want to in the world that it and your heart yearns for!

And after spending winter here in Goa, next stop for me is South Africa where I’ll be running a certified Community Development NLP Course in Cape Town. We still have one space left!

In the meantime, I’ll be riding my bike, learning to surf and continuing work with and lead my team and clients into a new level of vision.

And of course at the same time, continuing to clarify the ‘next level’ of my vision; focussing on some of the next steps in that larger process, which include the official launch of our Online School, Global Coaching Community Online Learning Platform and a whole series of transformational live Webinars for those who decide to join our growing, dynamic and loving community. I do hope you join us sometime, somewhere…

What a life! Bring on the problems :)

Love, Tristan

Path to Excellence

Problem = Opportunity = Growth

Every time I land in Goa to run an NLP retreat, I’m hit with a wave of colour, heat and breathtaking natural beauty – the jungle, the beaches and wildlife – I love it! This time however, I was hit with a horrible bout of food poisoning within 24 hours of landing. Not so good :(

As you might imagine, it knocked me sideways. I’ve often allowed (though not consciously) life and challenges to knock me off centre. Over time, I’ve become increasingly resilient and able to bounce back; there are strategies for bouncing back. Some I have down-pat. Others, when some of the deeper stuff gets triggered, I still have to work on.

This is the beauty of NLP and these NLP retreats. They help us to develop our mental maps and models of the world – be those related to resilience, bouncing back or recovering from ill health. We can achieve anything we want to when we get the underlying structure or strategy.

What sets real masters aside from us mere mortals is that they have hardwired that ‘problem = opportunity’. As a result they are able to bounce back almost immediately. Josh Waitzkin uses a great metaphor in his book The Art of Learning where he describes how Tai Chi masters learn to embrace these challenges, as a way of growth. They embrace the attack, the new, the unknown and the challenging.

So often my conditioned and unconscious response has been ‘problem = problem = I can’t’. Josh describes in detail how those who excel in any field believe that ‘problem = opportunity = growth and the path to excellence’.



Magical India – The Art Of Happiness

I’ve just ambled lazily back across the pristine white sand of a deserted beach in Cherai having been swimming alone in the Arabian sea – a beautiful luke warm bath with surfable waves apparently induced by the solar eclipse. Being back in India is like coming home!

Kerala Beach 1

Having grown up until the age of 7 with with my parents who were hippies, and having lived in more houses that I have lived years its pretty much indisputable that I’m a born nomad. And I normally feel very much at home wherever I am. I have been living in Ibiza since last summer which I consider to be my spiritual home, despite the reputation it has among many in Britain! But India feels as much a home if not more than anywhere else, and coming back here this year for a couple of months reminds me of how utterly special and unique this country is and how I want to keep coming back here each year – to this most rich, vibrant, beautifully alive and special place.

Today, the day of the solar eclipse, is a special day. Not just because of the eclipse but because I have committed to recognising and changing a pattern of mine which I know will have a profound impact on my life, and perhaps more importantly the lives of others around me.

In NLP there are what’s known as meta-programmes, or filters, which are our way of filtering information and making sense of the world… well I have added a new one today, an important distinction for me, and that is the notion of ‘input’ versus ‘output’. I love learning, in fact I am addicted to learning. A much better addiction than some things, but nonetheless an addiction. I love input, I love learning, I love finding out what others do, say and think and modelling their success. But today I believe its time that I reverse this pattern and now ‘output’ more than I ‘input’.

So my new blog and websites are being built and I am in the process of designing products and workshops to give others this rich, peripatetic, vibrant and fun life that I am so privileged to have, or whatever it is that they truly want!

Riding along the dusty roads today on my Enflield Bullet, the thud thud thud of the 350cc single cylinder engine attracting attention as if it were a pink tractor I realised just how lucky I am to have designed my life this way and I know have the desire to give others the gifts and leanings I have had along my journey.

Enfield 1

Its paradoxical in some respects that I am entirely responsible for creating my life in this way and yet at the same time there are unseen forces in the Universe that have helped conspire towards me following this path, to open up to and awaken to all the magical coincidences and synchronicities around me…. around us all!

And so riding along on my Enflied thinking about all this today, I became very grateful and excited. I also became aware of how I can tend to overcomplicated life. Life can be very simple. I know that from watching how simply people live out here.

The other day I asked Sajeen, an amazing and young yoga teacher in Cherai, “is life good”? to which he smiled and replied “of course” as if it could not be any other way and my question was absurd. Now, that is simplicity, finding love and joy in everything because you choose to!

It’s funny that somehow in the so-called civilised West many of us have come to believe, or been conditioned through advertising and cultural norms – that if I get x I will feel y. Whereas in fact we can feel any way we want whenever we want. And then enjoy the journey as well as the destination! Perhaps that is the secret, but of course knowing something and doing it are two very different things.

I heard Gary Vaynerchuck say earlier today “love what you do and if you don’t then STOP. There is absolutely no need to be not enjoying yourself in this day and age.”

And I concur. There is more technology, money, opportunity, information and wealth than at any other time in the history of humankind. If you are pursuing making money or a 9-5 and you’re not enjoying it, then you are doing yourself and humanity a disservice and going after success rather than fulfilment. And that to me is failure.

There are so many people with apparently so little who manage to be happy…. who manage to just be, and be happy, and I believe we can all learn the distinctions which enable them to live in that place. For me one of those distinctions is a commitment to daily practice every morning, which at the moment is yoga. As I sit on the beach now writing this blog, I am looking one way and then the other as far as I can see and there is not a soul… not a single solitary soul. I could be lonely but I am not. Because deep inside I am connecting to a place of love, joy and inspiration and that is open to all of us at any moment in time. And I’m outputting 😉

And it is in that connecting, that desire to connect into the bigger system, to output rather than input, that I believe is one of our greatest sources of sustainable joy. That is where we find happiness. The question then is, what do we need to focus on, to believe in and do in order to be in that place of joy? What do you need to focus on now?


Looking above me watching the eagles circling in the dense heat of the Indian sky, with nature all around blending seamlessly into an enticing array of colours, cows, cats, cockerels, ducks and dogs, I feel humbled as I reminisce on the rich and varied day I have had. I am humbled by the smiles of nearly every person I passed earlier today on my motorbike; by the simplicity and pace of life; by the acceptance that all is as its meant to be.

As I recall – the three smiling middle aged ladies in vibrant buttercup-yellow dresses, the pink and orange houses that I passed and the cows grazing peacefully by the side of the road – I am reminded that happiness is all we want. Happiness is all we truly want. And that is success.

Go follow your bliss!

With love
Tristan x