Sept Newsletter

The future is an epic adventure

“Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all” – Helen Keller
Again, I’ve got so much to update you on in this newsletter. But how does one get to the essence, when there is so much content to share? How do we cut to the chase – to what’s most important?

To my mind, that’s exactly what NLP is! It’s the difference between content and structure.

Right now, I feel there’s so much content to share. But what’s the essence, the structure?

For me it’s the future! The future… and an epic adventure!

But before we get to that, a quick look back at the rich and transformational NLP Foundation Event we had in Bournemouth recently.

 

Bournemouth 2017

As always, we had a great bunch and so much fun; as well as some deep, powerful change for us all. It’s such a gift and privilege to be able to create space for people to open up to their own epic adventure.

I feel like I’ve really landed and found my calling. I’ve discovered what I’m great at and love doing. And that’s coaching; helping others to find their calling; supporting them to discover the essence of what they’re great at and step into what they love doing. I’m so grateful to have the skills to help them make the kind of changes in their thinking and life that literally create miracles.

As Rich Litvin said – I have a career that doesn’t even make sense. The only way I can describe it is to say this: I am in the miracle business. People spend time with me. We talk. And miracles occur.

Louise Botwright

 

And on that note a BIG thank you to those in my awesome and growing team. Without them I could not do what I do!

It’s remarkable how quickly what we want can manifest when we get clear on what we want; when we believe in it whole-heartedly and take action towards it. Just a few months ago I was huffing and puffing about not being able to get what I wanted done in my business. Overwhelm, stress, like a hamster on a wheel!

Out of that problem (as is always the case!) came a solution. Build a team. In fact without that problem I would not have been gifted the solution. Problems are the pre-cursor to breakthroughs. We’re now nine strong and counting!

I recognise the structure in this and most profound change. It goes something like this…

Barrier >>> Belief Change >>> Transformation >>> Miracles

I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s of our Team in due course but for now, just to say a big thank to Victoria, Angela, Pete, Matt, Sarah, Hannah, Adam and Justin.

We’ll be sharing lots of exciting updates and adventures in due course. They are all remarkable people in their own right, many running their own businesses.

Oh… and we’re still looking for a great Animator and App designer if you know of any!

A part of our current focus and the output of our collective effort is the launch of our online NLP School / Learning Platform and Global Coaching Community this autumn. It’s taking shape slowly but surely. The foundations are there and we’re about to go through School ourselves. So we look forward to sharing more about and hopefully welcoming you into that in the coming months.

NLP Ibiza 2017

We’re nearly set for my very special Ibiza Retreat next month. Always one of the most significant weeks of personal insight and transformation for myself each year.

There are so many layers and levels to this work. There really is no limit to our learning and lives apart from those we set and the laws of physics! And even those we seem to be able to overcome.

After Ibiza and a quick stop in the UK I’m off to Goa again where the hustle and bustle of the subcontinent gives way to a measured languor, coconut groves and long stretches of golden sand beaches kissing the Arabian Sea for miles and miles…

Goa

Each year, a magical experience!  And the Retreat in Sean’s words is “the best way to start the New Year”.  I agree!

We still have a handful of places left so if you’re keen to find out more then send me a message or you can go here for details.

As for the future and my epic adventure. Well, I’ve come to realise the nature of the internal and external adventures we have. And how important they both are.

Whether I find myself exploring Africa, climbing mountains in the Himalayas or trekking the Andes in South America (all of which are on my radar… but there are so many other places I want to explore!) there is a structure and internal state to the experience, as well as the majesty of the external.

To some degree it doesn’t really matter where I am, as long as I’m experiencing those feelings of exploring, adventure, expanding possibility and joy then it’s all good. And we can experience those states anywhere!

So while I’m off to India for winter and exploring southern Africa and beyond next year, it’s the internal adventure and discovery I’ve been on for a long time now and that I love so much that actually enables my travels. It’s the kind of adventure I relish as much as, if not more than the external. When I’m coaching or being coached I know there will be adventure, learning, change and beauty.

Like getting drawn into a great book, as we embark on the inner adventure we get taken on a journey into the unknown that is rich, immersive and transformational. Never completely sure where we’ll end up; stepping into the unknown – trusting that something wonderful will emerge which it always does – discovering rich and beautiful worlds upon worlds of experience, possibility and joy.

What a world we live in. Deserving of an epic adventure I’d say!

Love, Tristan

Every silver lining

Every silver lining has a bloody great cloud

There’s so much to share since my last update… where to start?!

I had an outpouring of love and support from my last newsletter which triggered a couple of responses. First, a big thank you to all of you who got in touch with words of support.  It was actually quite overwhelming, but lovely to know that my blog on the Unexpected Gifts of Depression and update touched something in so many of you.

The other response was one of surprise and mild discomfort for the concern everyone had for me.  I had moved on and was in a great space when I sent the ‘Mega Update‘.  I often write what’s current or challenging for me, in a way that helps me process and move from where I am, to where I want to be.  Being vulnerable is a part of that process.

I used to hate being vulnerable (still do sometimes… oh there I am being vulnerable again!) but I realise that it’s not just me.  Humans are vulnerable. We all have our soft spots!

If you haven’t watched Brene Brown’s brilliant TedTalk on vulnerability I’d highly recommend you do sometime.  She shares a fabulous story about her own extreme dislike of vulnerability, followed by deep insight from her research; one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

A large part of being coached is engaging with our vulnerability.  Simply put, this is the truth of our human frailty, imperfection; our experience of pain and suffering.  Once we do this, we can quickly accept and move beyond our limitations and perceived challenges.  Change can happen in a heartbeat when we accept what is, rather than resist or deny it.

We are all vulnerable. We all need help and support from time to time. And we all have our dark night of the soul.  But many of us try and hide our vulnerability and imperfection.  I know I have.

This is why I was so taken with NLP when I first came across it.  It gave me space to feel both safe and vulnerable.  To be human.  It was clearly a powerful framework for creating deep change.  I recognised that it wasn’t just positive thinking or some tool, but a way of enquiry into the truth.  And the more of the truth I saw, the more beautiful and compelling it became.  As they say, the truth will set you free.

On reflection, my ‘Mega Update’ was, in a way, a mirror of a transformational coaching conversation.  You can go to my website to read a short blog I just wrote on The 7 Steps of A Transformational Coaching Conversation if you want.
When I sent out the Mega Update, I had already moved on in my thinking and emotions, but I wanted to share my process.  Why?  Because we all face challenges in life andI know that my pain and suffering can always serve to alleviate others.  So can yours.

It reminds me something Neil Gaiman said… “The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might just be starting to get it right.”

We all experience loss, grief, pain and suffering.  By sharing mine, my hope and invitation was to invite you into your internal world; your own vulnerability.  To accept that at some level there is a barrier to creating what you want in life.  As soon as we do that; as soon as we accept our own short-comings we can begin to move beyond them, rather than ignore or deny them.

These days, I don’t get stuck in my present state anywhere near as long as I used to. I still get stuck (in my thinking) but always find a way out.  How?  Well, these are just some of the strategies I have for profoundly changing my world:

  1. Lean in to my tribe
  2. Get coaching from my world class coach and mentor (thank you Gene!)
  3. Self Coach – we can all do this, anytime, rather than running on auto pilot or staying stuck
  4. Go for a run and ask myself (gratitude and transformational) questions
  5. Feldenkrais – this has been a life changing method for changing my physical experience and therefore mental and emotional state
  6. Meditation – watch this wonderful 2 minute video if you’ve struggled with meditation or want to do it more consistently
  7. Transformational Breathing – another game changer for me!  Check out Wim Hof who I trained with.  We have just begun talking about doing a retreat or workshop using NLP combined with the Wim Hof Method
  8. Re-organise my thinking through chunking and categorisation… and therefore re-organise my life.  Or re-organise my external environment and therefore my thinking and life :)
  9. Get into nature and soften – we are a part of nature and I come back to myself when I’m there
  10. Make an important decision and take action right away
  11. Visualise and feel deeply what my heart wants, until compelled to take action
  12. Stop trying, let go, chill out and wait for my energy and motivation to return

How do you change your state and life?  What are some of your favourite ‘go to’ processes for getting back into flow and creating change?

I’ve shared a truly amazing and inspiring TedTalk below which goes into very real and beautiful detail about the power of sharing our dream (desired state), what’s stopping us from achieving it (present state) and then how community can ALWAYS (and often in very unexpected ways) help us to manifest said dream.

Again, I’d highly recommend you check it out, but more importantly to do the work!  Where are you creating the space and time for YOU to:

  1. Share your dream
  2. Figure out what’s stopping you and then
  3. Get the support to bridge the gap?
My belief is that the Universe is designed to ensure this process, if only we will play our part.

Until next time!Love, Tristan