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Creating Waves

I ran a Retreat out here in Goa last month and started by sharing that “crisis = breakthrough”.  I had just been through a personal crisis which manifested itself physically, with a cricked neck and back.

I quickly recognised that because I had a serious physical crisis, I was being offered an opportunity to have a profound breakthrough. So often we get stuck in the crisis [the human experience hey… eyeballs rolling… deep sigh!] rather than recognise the ‘seed of equal or greater opportunity’ as Napoleon Hill so wisely shared in Think And Grow Rich.

I love my life, most of the time! I get to travel the world, run life changing retreats, live and work from beach huts, awaken people to their true potential… and ride my motorbike legally without a helmet! I have a great life :)

And yet despite all the internal work I’ve done, and the freedom I experience, I still return to ‘crisis’ once in a while. To put it less dramatically, I have plenty of my own problems!

It’s clear to me, having worked with thousands of people over the years, that the one thing we can be sure of, is having problems. They are here to stay. Perhaps the best we can hope for then, is better quality problems. And to respond to them in more resourceful ways. To use them for growth and development, rather than diminishing ourselves through them, as we so often do.

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Living in beach huts, riding my bike, running retreats.. and growing enormously from my personal challenges… not a bad life!

 

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Tony Robbins said “the only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level.”

I used a metaphor to describe my sense of overwhelm recently. It was like I was redeveloping a house (my business) with a team of people all doing their bit. So exciting!

And yet, as I’m sure you know, before any house is redeveloped, things can appear to get worse. A lot worse. The wiring was metaphorically pulled out, the plaster pulled down, the plumbing not working and there I was in the middle of it all, wondering how on earth I got here, in such a mess. This was NOT my vision for bringing a team of awesome people into my business to take it to the next level. But…

Crisis = Breakthrough

That is, when we believe in that underlying presupposition. One of my gifts is helping people quickly get out of overwhelm or feeling stuck; helping them to get clear on what they really want; and then supporting them to manifest it in their lives. In part, through the use of powerful presuppositions.

You’ll see some people sharing how they’ve experienced that in the beautiful video below, shot by Hannah, one of our team members. And I’ve become pretty good at it. Yet here I was, feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unable to get clear enough to create what I wanted. Talk about taking a dose of your own medicine. As they say, we teach most what we need to learn.

On reflection and with a fair bit of processing in the midst of my overwhelm, a few things became clear. First, this was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity for me to learn, grow and go to the next level, not just in my business, but in my vision and leadership. Just like I had with my cricked neck and back.

It was clear that I’d got settled into my comfort zone. And paradoxically, I was uncomfortable staying there. Robert Quinn describes this as the normal state that most of us live in. He states that we settle for ‘slow death’. It’s the law of entropy. My comfortable life, swanning around the world, doing what I want when I want, had actually been stopping me for doing the very thing I help others do – to grow! The way out of ‘slow death’ or our comfort zone, is to become purpose or results driven. This requires a new level of vision. The shift according to Quinn is from…

Comfort Driven to Purpose Driven
Self Focused to Other Focused
Externally Directed to Internally Directed
Internally Closed to Externally Open

I had settled for coasting. I had been too self absorbed and comfort driven. But there’s another level for me to operate at in my life and business. There always is. And that for me, was to step up and lead; to commit to a larger vision and purpose. Ultimately, this is what our heart and soul yearns for – to make a difference in the world – in our own unique way. To continue to learn and grow and contribute beyond ourselves. To manifest a vision that lies dormant, in our heart, waiting to be awakened and unleashed in the world.

I had settled for comfort over purpose and lacked a vision compelling enough for me to let go of my comfort and selfish needs.

I recognise of course, that it’s not that comfort isn’t valuable or ok. It’s both, but it’s also a limiter to our personal growth and impact in the world. And with vision and a desire to make an impact out there in the world comes a great deal of energy and inspiration. It’s like the Universe hears our heart yearning to make a difference and conspires toward helping us on our way; to grow and to make the difference we were born to make.

As Judy de Lozier once asked me, how much can you allow the Universe to flow through you? When we have a heartfelt vision to change the world in our unique way – anything becomes possible for us as individuals, communities and the world – as Natalie who joined us in Ibiza so beautifully shares in the video ‘Transformational Journeying’ below.

And so I’ve been exploring, writing and awakening to a larger vision than I’d previously allowed myself to have. One that is compelling enough for me that it enables me to say ‘yes, I’m willing to give up my comfort; yes I’m willing to pay the price of being internally directed rather than externally directed; yes I’m willing to invest in others because I have the energy to know that my own needs are taken care of; the openness to say – oh I’ve got to do something radically different and purpose driven now – in order to be fulfilled at the highest level.

So that’s where I’m at – being present with, unpacking and articulating a new vision and sense of purpose. And right now it looks something like supporting coaches, change agents and people in India, Africa and Europe to create personal freedom as well as loving, learning and supportive communities around them, who are all committed to doing the same. We will never truly know the depth of the impact we have in the world, but we can be sure it ripples out into the eternal present moment in miraculous ways when we learn to love and share our gift with the world lovingly. That’s my vision…

To revolutionise the world of NLP Training so that people on a learning journey have such a profound transformational experience, platform, community and support – before, during and after any course they join – that they are catapulted into creating the vision they have in their heart.

So they not only get this…

Transformational stories and journeys on my retreat in Ibiza last year
But they also get what I talk about below, a whole system of support to help them in making the difference they want to make in the world.

Next month we’ll be sharing more about this and releasing my new website along with details and an Early Bird discount for my next retreat in Ibiza. But for now I’m excited to be launching my latest certified NLP course in Bournemouth – for Practitioner, Master Practitioner and NLP Trainers. Newcomers are also very welcome!

Whether you’re brand new to NLP, or well experienced, you can expect to take your skills, influence and life to the next level. And if you do choose to join us, you’ll be welcomed into a unique environment and community that supports your personal and professional development, through honesty, openness and world class NLP Training and Coaching.

When we discover and step into our place in the world; when we tap into our latent potential – then endless possibilities open up to us, and for us. I invite you to join us on this immersive and exciting journey and begin stepping into your highest vision. You can find full details here.

Book at the early Bird Price now for just £1,500
(monthly instalments available upon request)

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I do hope you can join us in Bournemouth on this transformational journey – so that you can accelerate your ability to succeed in creating your personal and professional life – in a way that is full of fun, learning, integrity, deep change and possibility. And make the kind of impact you want to in the world that it and your heart yearns for!

And after spending winter here in Goa, next stop for me is South Africa where I’ll be running a certified Community Development NLP Course in Cape Town. We still have one space left!

In the meantime, I’ll be riding my bike, learning to surf and continuing work with and lead my team and clients into a new level of vision.

And of course at the same time, continuing to clarify the ‘next level’ of my vision; focussing on some of the next steps in that larger process, which include the official launch of our Online School, Global Coaching Community Online Learning Platform and a whole series of transformational live Webinars for those who decide to join our growing, dynamic and loving community. I do hope you join us sometime, somewhere…

What a life! Bring on the problems :)

Love, Tristan

Sept Newsletter

The future is an epic adventure

“Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all” – Helen Keller
Again, I’ve got so much to update you on in this newsletter. But how does one get to the essence, when there is so much content to share? How do we cut to the chase – to what’s most important?

To my mind, that’s exactly what NLP is! It’s the difference between content and structure.

Right now, I feel there’s so much content to share. But what’s the essence, the structure?

For me it’s the future! The future… and an epic adventure!

But before we get to that, a quick look back at the rich and transformational NLP Foundation Event we had in Bournemouth recently.

 

Bournemouth 2017

As always, we had a great bunch and so much fun; as well as some deep, powerful change for us all. It’s such a gift and privilege to be able to create space for people to open up to their own epic adventure.

I feel like I’ve really landed and found my calling. I’ve discovered what I’m great at and love doing. And that’s coaching; helping others to find their calling; supporting them to discover the essence of what they’re great at and step into what they love doing. I’m so grateful to have the skills to help them make the kind of changes in their thinking and life that literally create miracles.

As Rich Litvin said – I have a career that doesn’t even make sense. The only way I can describe it is to say this: I am in the miracle business. People spend time with me. We talk. And miracles occur.

Louise Botwright

 

And on that note a BIG thank you to those in my awesome and growing team. Without them I could not do what I do!

It’s remarkable how quickly what we want can manifest when we get clear on what we want; when we believe in it whole-heartedly and take action towards it. Just a few months ago I was huffing and puffing about not being able to get what I wanted done in my business. Overwhelm, stress, like a hamster on a wheel!

Out of that problem (as is always the case!) came a solution. Build a team. In fact without that problem I would not have been gifted the solution. Problems are the pre-cursor to breakthroughs. We’re now nine strong and counting!

I recognise the structure in this and most profound change. It goes something like this…

Barrier >>> Belief Change >>> Transformation >>> Miracles

I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s of our Team in due course but for now, just to say a big thank to Victoria, Angela, Pete, Matt, Sarah, Hannah, Adam and Justin.

We’ll be sharing lots of exciting updates and adventures in due course. They are all remarkable people in their own right, many running their own businesses.

Oh… and we’re still looking for a great Animator and App designer if you know of any!

A part of our current focus and the output of our collective effort is the launch of our online NLP School / Learning Platform and Global Coaching Community this autumn. It’s taking shape slowly but surely. The foundations are there and we’re about to go through School ourselves. So we look forward to sharing more about and hopefully welcoming you into that in the coming months.

NLP Ibiza 2017

We’re nearly set for my very special Ibiza Retreat next month. Always one of the most significant weeks of personal insight and transformation for myself each year.

There are so many layers and levels to this work. There really is no limit to our learning and lives apart from those we set and the laws of physics! And even those we seem to be able to overcome.

After Ibiza and a quick stop in the UK I’m off to Goa again where the hustle and bustle of the subcontinent gives way to a measured languor, coconut groves and long stretches of golden sand beaches kissing the Arabian Sea for miles and miles…

Goa

Each year, a magical experience!  And the Retreat in Sean’s words is “the best way to start the New Year”.  I agree!

We still have a handful of places left so if you’re keen to find out more then send me a message or you can go here for details.

As for the future and my epic adventure. Well, I’ve come to realise the nature of the internal and external adventures we have. And how important they both are.

Whether I find myself exploring Africa, climbing mountains in the Himalayas or trekking the Andes in South America (all of which are on my radar… but there are so many other places I want to explore!) there is a structure and internal state to the experience, as well as the majesty of the external.

To some degree it doesn’t really matter where I am, as long as I’m experiencing those feelings of exploring, adventure, expanding possibility and joy then it’s all good. And we can experience those states anywhere!

So while I’m off to India for winter and exploring southern Africa and beyond next year, it’s the internal adventure and discovery I’ve been on for a long time now and that I love so much that actually enables my travels. It’s the kind of adventure I relish as much as, if not more than the external. When I’m coaching or being coached I know there will be adventure, learning, change and beauty.

Like getting drawn into a great book, as we embark on the inner adventure we get taken on a journey into the unknown that is rich, immersive and transformational. Never completely sure where we’ll end up; stepping into the unknown – trusting that something wonderful will emerge which it always does – discovering rich and beautiful worlds upon worlds of experience, possibility and joy.

What a world we live in. Deserving of an epic adventure I’d say!

Love, Tristan

Every silver lining

Every silver lining has a bloody great cloud

There’s so much to share since my last update… where to start?!

I had an outpouring of love and support from my last newsletter which triggered a couple of responses. First, a big thank you to all of you who got in touch with words of support.  It was actually quite overwhelming, but lovely to know that my blog on the Unexpected Gifts of Depression and update touched something in so many of you.

The other response was one of surprise and mild discomfort for the concern everyone had for me.  I had moved on and was in a great space when I sent the ‘Mega Update‘.  I often write what’s current or challenging for me, in a way that helps me process and move from where I am, to where I want to be.  Being vulnerable is a part of that process.

I used to hate being vulnerable (still do sometimes… oh there I am being vulnerable again!) but I realise that it’s not just me.  Humans are vulnerable. We all have our soft spots!

If you haven’t watched Brene Brown’s brilliant TedTalk on vulnerability I’d highly recommend you do sometime.  She shares a fabulous story about her own extreme dislike of vulnerability, followed by deep insight from her research; one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

A large part of being coached is engaging with our vulnerability.  Simply put, this is the truth of our human frailty, imperfection; our experience of pain and suffering.  Once we do this, we can quickly accept and move beyond our limitations and perceived challenges.  Change can happen in a heartbeat when we accept what is, rather than resist or deny it.

We are all vulnerable. We all need help and support from time to time. And we all have our dark night of the soul.  But many of us try and hide our vulnerability and imperfection.  I know I have.

This is why I was so taken with NLP when I first came across it.  It gave me space to feel both safe and vulnerable.  To be human.  It was clearly a powerful framework for creating deep change.  I recognised that it wasn’t just positive thinking or some tool, but a way of enquiry into the truth.  And the more of the truth I saw, the more beautiful and compelling it became.  As they say, the truth will set you free.

On reflection, my ‘Mega Update’ was, in a way, a mirror of a transformational coaching conversation.  You can go to my website to read a short blog I just wrote on The 7 Steps of A Transformational Coaching Conversation if you want.
When I sent out the Mega Update, I had already moved on in my thinking and emotions, but I wanted to share my process.  Why?  Because we all face challenges in life andI know that my pain and suffering can always serve to alleviate others.  So can yours.

It reminds me something Neil Gaiman said… “The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might just be starting to get it right.”

We all experience loss, grief, pain and suffering.  By sharing mine, my hope and invitation was to invite you into your internal world; your own vulnerability.  To accept that at some level there is a barrier to creating what you want in life.  As soon as we do that; as soon as we accept our own short-comings we can begin to move beyond them, rather than ignore or deny them.

These days, I don’t get stuck in my present state anywhere near as long as I used to. I still get stuck (in my thinking) but always find a way out.  How?  Well, these are just some of the strategies I have for profoundly changing my world:

  1. Lean in to my tribe
  2. Get coaching from my world class coach and mentor (thank you Gene!)
  3. Self Coach – we can all do this, anytime, rather than running on auto pilot or staying stuck
  4. Go for a run and ask myself (gratitude and transformational) questions
  5. Feldenkrais – this has been a life changing method for changing my physical experience and therefore mental and emotional state
  6. Meditation – watch this wonderful 2 minute video if you’ve struggled with meditation or want to do it more consistently
  7. Transformational Breathing – another game changer for me!  Check out Wim Hof who I trained with.  We have just begun talking about doing a retreat or workshop using NLP combined with the Wim Hof Method
  8. Re-organise my thinking through chunking and categorisation… and therefore re-organise my life.  Or re-organise my external environment and therefore my thinking and life :)
  9. Get into nature and soften – we are a part of nature and I come back to myself when I’m there
  10. Make an important decision and take action right away
  11. Visualise and feel deeply what my heart wants, until compelled to take action
  12. Stop trying, let go, chill out and wait for my energy and motivation to return

How do you change your state and life?  What are some of your favourite ‘go to’ processes for getting back into flow and creating change?

I’ve shared a truly amazing and inspiring TedTalk below which goes into very real and beautiful detail about the power of sharing our dream (desired state), what’s stopping us from achieving it (present state) and then how community can ALWAYS (and often in very unexpected ways) help us to manifest said dream.

Again, I’d highly recommend you check it out, but more importantly to do the work!  Where are you creating the space and time for YOU to:

  1. Share your dream
  2. Figure out what’s stopping you and then
  3. Get the support to bridge the gap?
My belief is that the Universe is designed to ensure this process, if only we will play our part.

Until next time!Love, Tristan